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One Does Not Simply Cast Sir Ian In Every Screen Adaptation

As some of you know, I have just finished reading and bellyaching about The DaVinci Code. If you are not aware of my feelings on this novel, you will here. For you curious cats, the book gets 2.5 out of 5 Maitri stars – this intermediate judgment has naught to do with fencesitting and instead relies on the appreciable, even if couched in the disparaging, amount of perspective and history the book has to offer.

Film versions of books are understandably tricky, and their cast choices even more so. Tom Hanks to portray Robert Langdon and Audrey Tautou for Sophie Neveu was predictable. Hollywood has few young professorial adventurers and even a dye job and facelift cannot reclaim Harrison Ford from his caducity; as for the Frenchwoman, Vanessa Paradis doesn’t fit the pretty yet simple pointy-head mold at all, does she? Please don’t get me rolling on Jean Reno as Inspector Fache – besotted with Reno since the more dignified Le Grand Bleu and The Professional, I find it unsettling.

Not Just Unsettling, But Wrong: My arrival at the last few chapters of the novel solidified my inner casting agent’s decision to have Christopher Lee play the part of Leigh Teabing (I really wanted Leo “Rumpole of the Bailey” McKern, but he seems to be dead). Imagine my surprise when this morning’s entertainment news announced none other than my most favorite Shakespearean actor and bringer-to-life of Tolkien’s trilogy, Sir Ian McKellen, in the role of Sir Leigh. Conjure up a mental image of the world’s richest and creamiest butter being spread into a wafer-thin layer on a Saltine, and you may get an inkling of my thoughts on Sir Ian accepting this borderline role.

No one could have played Gandalf but Sir Ian. Some other red-nosed codger could have taken on The DV Code role. England has plenty of them. Come on, did we really like Sean Connery in Indiana Jones and the Final Countdown or whatever that was?

Yeah yeah, Paul Bettany as the albino and Alfred Molina for the Spanish bishop. They are but diminutive snags in the larger tapestry of disappointment surrounding casting ethics. *sigh* As long as Ron Howard doesn’t present an end with imported Ewoks singing alongside poorly-composited spirits of the Knights Templar and everyone who swallowed bullets through the story, I shouldn’t ask for much more from my $7.50, right?

10 comments… add one
  • Anne April 22, 2005, 6:07 PM

    Thank you. I have blessedly forgotten the details, but distinctly recall thinking, early and often, “THIS crap is what passes for a runaway bestseller these days? While I sweat my brainlets out trying to get published? EEEEEGGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!”

    Indeed, the Reno is most cool. Did you catch the one with him and the perky little Japanese chick?

    Come on, did we really like Sean Connery in Indiana Jones and the Final Countdown or whatever that was?

    Actually, yes, but that hardly detracts from the righteousness of your point. Well, maybe he’ll elevate the thing to the point that it’s worth watching. And maybe XXXXX really WILL bump my salary significantly when I go North, right before I win the Lottery…

  • Administrator April 22, 2005, 4:35 PM

    Mytri,

    The history lessons and tidbits of culture were great, as was the historical context. People should know this and the truth about a religion that has engulfed a good portion of the planet.

    The action-mythos juxtaposition didn’t come off very well, IMHO.

    Oddly enough, I have a picture of my friend, Adam, pretending to hold up the inverse pyramid. If I had only known that the Grail “lives” there …

    :-)

  • Mytri April 22, 2005, 6:07 PM

    I loved it :-) I even bought the paperback version at Virgin(appropriately named, eh!)Bookstore at the plaza in Louvre. It was a lot of fun trying to figure out the metal nails in the road…

  • ben April 20, 2005, 3:46 PM

    I only read it to make my friends shut the fuck up and leave me alone about it.

    They are now no longer my friends.

    Now whenever they say “DaVinci Code” I say, “Oh, you mean ‘Deus ex Machina: The Novel?'”

    We’re trapped in a pit of acid and we’re fooling the Swiss bank and OF COURSE YOUR FUCKING FRIEND IS THE BAD GUY, DUMBASS!!!!!

    b

  • Kim April 20, 2005, 3:44 PM

    Hi Maitri,

    A thoroughly entertaining analysis!

    Thanks,
    Kim

  • Bugsy April 20, 2005, 2:40 PM

    sweet creepin’ JES-us smote me now….
    I hear this at home, and now it’s in my email too.

    I’m getting spammed by my fiancee….

  • Administrator April 20, 2005, 2:25 PM

    LGB is a film I saw in high-school/undergrad French class, which featured Jean Reno as a
    world-class diving champion whose main competitor is his childhood friend, who is actually more dolphin than human. The premise was mildly flimsy, but the movie was nicely filmed in my opinion and Reno looked quite sexy and intelligent as a diver with all-too-human quandaries.

    Rhys-Davies – also in LoTR. Yes, he would have done quite nicely, too.

    The world seems to have a serious actor shortage.

  • MSH April 20, 2005, 2:05 PM

    TELL about. . .Le Grand Bleu???

    If McKern is dead, how about Rhys-Davies [also in Indiana Jones]???

  • sally April 20, 2005, 1:24 PM

    oh dear.. I have to save and read this at home as your review itself falls in the “inappropriate howls of laughter at work” category!!

  • Anon April 20, 2005, 1:06 PM

    the introduction of ewoks just about killed me. wok wok! ha ha!

    dan brown made a ton of money off a known itch. like the catholic church and other organizations didn’t and don’t.

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