Dear Doctor Science,
When you make bread, does yeast feel pain?
— Diane H. from Ann Arbor, Michigan
“Definitely. In fact, the tiny bubbles in bread are yeast screams, released as you cut the bread. You can’t hear them because they’re at too high a frequency. But your pets can. This is why so many dogs seem to be begging at the dinner table. They aren’t asking for food; they’re trying to save a yeast’s life. Pillsbury lab experiments have yielded the largest and strangest of yeast species – code named Poppin’ Fresh – that will emit a scream when poked in the tummy with a forefinger. Yes, it’s all part of a program to convince us that yeast enjoys getting baked alive.
Gold Star Question
If a Buddhist might really be a fly or spider in another life, is it OK to swat him with my newspaper?
— Andrew Denny from Norwich
