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Day 1159: A Pilgrimage To Toys ‘R’ Us

It appears that some parents in the US and the UK have been huffing too much Glade Pumpkin Pie scented oil candles this pre-Christmas season because they “are reporting a Fisher Price ‘Little Mommy Cuddle ˜n Coo’ doll repeats the phrase: ‘Islam is the light.'”  Mattel denies any attempts at Islamic world domination and “insisted that the doll was not pushing pro-Islamic messages, adding that the sound some parents were hearing was caused by an accidental distortion of the doll“s soundtrack.”

One mother on the Daily Kenoshan online forum swears that “the first two rounds the doll just coos and makes sounds like it’s trying to say something – but just isn’t quite getting it out – on the third round it goes through the same babble and then clear as a bell says ‘Islam is the Light.’ Then if you leave the doll on and let it play – it seems to say it clearly more frequently.”

You know what this means, right?  I’m going to have to buy this toy and start testing the aforementioned claims.  Why, in the name of humankind, goodwill and retail, of course.  Come on, think of the children … and the economy’s children!  This also implies that, if I don’t hear this “clear as a bell,” all of these parents are hereby ordered to attend Athenae‘s “Stop Being Such A Goddamn Crazy Narcissist Because Most Muslims Don’t Know You Exist You Doofus mini-course for people who would otherwise be monitoring the white noise from the washing machine for subliminal Islamofascist propaganda.”

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