Ever since it was announced that I’m the new treasurer of Krewe du Vieux, I’ve had krewe members, mostly the past-middle-aged ones, say to me, “You’re stupid, “You’re dumb,” or “You’re an idiot.” In fact, one person stood by me at Fahy’s and repeated “Yeah, you’re a moron” over and over again. At first, I brushed it off (we are after all a group that exists to satirize), but now it’s reaching Beyond My Patience Threshold levels. When 2 or 3 people say it, it’s one thing, but 25-30 echoing the sentiment is a giant cheese grater. It makes me wonder what I got myself into before I’ve even started.
Many responses to these “joking” beraters come to mind such as “Your aging-hippie, drunken, rollicking good time doesn’t come without some organization and work,” “a 900-strong institution doesn’t f***ing run itself” and “wait a second while I look around for a reason to give a damn about what you say.” No, in the 32nd year of my existence, I have to remind myself not to uphold others to the standards I have for myself. In the wise words of a close friend, I must allow people to be people. If they’re not going to change, what has to evolve is my reaction to them. For, in the end, when I get mad at someone, I descend into the vortex of being angrier at myself for allowing myself to get mad in the first place, fester, rinse, repeat. It’s just not healthy to turn into your own worst enemy.
All of this nice auto-suggestion and anger management aside, I am discouraged by the reactions of these supposedly radical people. They don’t want to take on the responsibility themselves, but pooh-pooh those who do. In the same breath, they launch into how such an avant-garde organization needs younger and more motivated blood as well as increased involvement from the subkrewes. Saying you’re cool and interesting is not being cool and interesting. If they want younger / newer krewe members to take on responsibilities within the organization, it would be in their best interest not to verbally beat on them, especially for doing (non-glamorous) work they wouldn’t have done themselves. Bringing younger, fun-loving, hardworking and motivated people into the organization is one of my goals as treasurer, and encouragement is the key.
I don’t want to think that the Krewe du Vieux mission has devolved into its antithesis, but if it’s all talk, few people do the work and those few have the joy taken out of them, what’s the damned point?
And don’t be jealous of my phat accounting skilz, y’all. I am a banker’s daughter, after all.
Wow! What happened? I don’t understand anyone attacking YOU of all people. You are right about letting people be themselves – that’s actually your only choice!
Treasurer is ALWAYS the toughest in any organization. My mother-in-law finally gave up on it at her synagogue because it kept coming down to her to tell some of these people the financial feasibility of their flights of fancy – and when she wouldn’t tell them what they wanted to hear, things got rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.
Do you need some kind of protection? (cracking of knuckles)
Do you need to call out the BERG?
Thank you for volunteering. For a moment there, I thought you were announcing this year’s theme.
db, I don’t think they’re attacking me as much as insensitively voicing the aforementioned things regarding my intelligence, or lack thereof, for taking on this position.
liprap, there may be some stepping on hands to do, but I’m willing to do it if required. Hey, the numbers don’t lie. And, yeah, great idea about calling out the BERG – I can count on Smasher, Ruffit and Sophie Newcomb to be my wingwomen!
Thanks, Mark! Wouldn’t it be funny if that were this year’s theme?
Oh Goddess Maitri!
I do not envy you. I just went back on the Board of Pride, and you would be horrified at the state of things seven weeks prior to the event.
In every social-based org there are those who do the work, and those who just stand around and gripe (I think it’s because they don’t understand, or just maybe they do, but are too lazy to lend a hand in the day-to-day chores). Screw ’em!
Remember, I do have a Katana and a Wakasachi at my disposal, and those Holy swords are dedicated to cleansing. Just have the BERG herd them to the exit, and I’ll hold the post.
I’d describe taking on being a treasurer of any group as brave. We’re lucky to have you says this member of PAN.
Lead
Follow
or shut the fuck up and stay out of the way, sheep! (in this case tie-dyed sheep….)
I think in the past the inept have made this position look harder than it is. People tend to project their feelings onto others. When they say “you are dumb, that job is hard” they in fact mean “I am dumb and I can’t do that job”. I don’t think it will be such a dire appointment for you and your skills. If you can balance MH’s checkbook, can this be any worse?
From now on perhaps you should carry a ledger. Every asshole gets a mark next to their name. Too many marks and you can raise their dues and then I’ll dress them in stupid outfits come parade day…….
D
Mongol General: Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.
Thanks for taking it on, Maitri. I can completely hear that kind of crap in my head, and people just don’t realize how old it gets. If anyone from Spermes gives you shit, let me know, and I’ll cram their sperm stick somewhere.
Interesting take that the response so clearly contradicts the mission of the krewe. I hope people get the message.
Maitri, thanks for taking it on from a member of Seeds. That having been said, I was not one of the “aging hippies” who gave you a hard time, nor will I be, however, and I’ll be sure to duck after I say this:
Most of us “aging hippies” have already BEEN treasurer/secretary/president/outreach supervisor/you name it for some organization or many for years before this. We did it all when our kids were growing up, we were the bitches who called up all the recalcitrant drill team moms who couldn’t manage to get their checks to us on time to make plane reservations for competitions, we were the PTA secretaries, we were the ones painting the halls of the school or calling the local gardening place to get trees donated. It goes on and on, and that’s not just me. There has always been the dynamic of a few doing all the work and others just writing checks or giving excuses. I don’t care if it’s the girl scouts. (Try running a cookie drive sometime–it’s NOT pretty.)
I’m betting that most of the folks that laughingly said, “Poor you,” have been there and done that and know how much time and effort it will take. I truly believe that it was in no way meant to talk you out of it or tell make you feel stupid for doing the job.
Not all of us “aging hippies” are irresponsible, trash talking pseudo-radicals, but many of us ARE just plain tired and figure it’s time for someone 32 to do what it was WE did at 32.
Oh yeah, and for those of us not too tired, we’re now grannies, going to PTA meetings for our grandchildren because the kids are working and too busy, or chaperoning field trips, or once again painting the halls of the school. Once we finish that, though, our muscles and bones say, “Hey you idiot, don’t take anything ELSE on for a bit, okay?”
KdV will run like clockwork, okay, maybe that’s a bit much to hope for, but it will be much the better for your having stepped up.
Thanks.
Thanks, everyone.
D: I do not think the past treasurers (especially the one I’m replacing) have been inept, just highly underappreciated for being the tough one and for a job well done. In fact, ineptness would have led to the fall of KduV. Most people, in general, have a fear of keeping monetary matters straight and force their own inability on others. That’s the ticket.
Slate: Not all “aging hippies” are irresponsible, trash-talking pseudo-radicals, but these irresponsible, trash-talking pseudo-radicals happen to be aging hippies, and it galls me to think that they would so rudely discourage someone who put her hand up to take on what our current treasurer deems “feeling a little unappreciated at times because it is detailed and time-consuming work.” But, I LOVE the krewe, and LOVE keeping accounting and taxes straight, and will do it for those reasons.
So, don’t feel free to hold up the banner for all aging hippies, because some of them are assholes, too. And you don’t know these particular people – if they’re not saying something to/about me, they’re doing it to/about something else. Some of them are cabal members, krewe captains and members of my own damned subkrewe that have to have a say about EVERYTHING. Not a single krewe member around my age said that to me.
There’s nothing wrong with “Poor you” but that’s not what I got. Just “Yeah, you’re stupid.” What, you want me to do a little bit of costuming here and food delivery there and just show up on the day of? Not me.
Rarely does a good deed go unpunished. Kudos for stepping up.