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Welcome To Another Exciting Episode Of Untamed World

I’m your host, Maitri Hoek.  Over here we have the NY Daily News’s picks for World’s Ugliest Animals.  Check out the ill-fated twenty.  They’re not that ugly, poor things.  You’re the ugly ones, editors.  On the inside.

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I can’t believe they singled out the sloth (that cute, furry thing is ugly??), the naked mole rat, a Chinese dog that looks like a (elusive horny-billed) chihuahua with hair issues, the boxer, the komondor – a fuzzy-wuzzy pup that could double as a ShamWow, the proboscis monkey (ok, that’s off limits right there), the warthog (I like warthogs, they’re funny!), the tarantula (poor, misunderstood, elegant thing) and a turtle (pick on something with your own land speed, ferpetessake).

Great job fostering science, given that most of the animals listed are evolutionary milestones, critters better-suited for camouflage, scouting out and menacing their prey, finding mates and/or defense, and some are endangered.  Are there any truly ugly sewer rats, roaches, yorkipoos, inbred Persian cats and other pet-factory abominations on this list?  No, they pour scorn on the geographic adaptations (and exotic mandibles) of monkeys and turtles.  These people couldn’t tell “cool” if it bit them with venomous saliva.

Yet, YET, no matter how cool, rare or all-god’s-children-beautiful the coconut crab above is, if I find it on my trash can or Anywhere, it’s game over.  (Holy lobster special, Batman, that thing is huge.  Did you know it can crack coconuts with its bare claws and is omnivorous?)  One of us is going down.  Right after I scream like a little girl, begin to weep inconsolably and run away while I still can.

7 comments… add one
  • liprap July 14, 2009, 4:00 PM

    I love sloths and naked mole rats!

    I especially love the movie “Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control” for following a guy who studies naked mole rats and put together the firsat exhibits of them.

  • Blair Tyson July 14, 2009, 7:19 PM

    If i didn’t know better I’d say you have WAY too much time on your hands. You make me smile.

  • Maitri July 14, 2009, 8:35 PM

    Liprap: I <3 sloths and naked mole rats, too. And proboscis monkeys!

    Blair: I’d say I do, too, but this was too weird not to post.

  • John July 15, 2009, 6:23 AM

    The most terrifying thing in the article is that someone at the Daily News wrote “animal with it’s skeleton” and no copy editor or proofreader caught it. (Does anyone proofread anymore, or is that hopelessly 20th century?)

  • HammHawk July 15, 2009, 8:26 AM

    Damn, I thought that crab was some cool art installation!

    At least they included a little bit about the adaptive reasons behind the “ugliness.” More woulda been good though.

  • slate July 17, 2009, 11:25 AM

    OMG That thing is incredible! I too thought it was an art installation. I might have to MAKE one to put on our giant rolling trash can. Wait, not a good idea, they’d never pick up the trash if they saw that!

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