The Buffalo Beast rips on, into and over 2008’s sinners – Barack Obama, Brett Favre, Caroline Kennedy, Ben Stein, Michelle Malkin (this one gets high marks for use of the phrases “sounded the nutbar clarion call” and “blind, raging idiots with the collective brain-power of a lobotomized howler monkey”), Joe Lieberman, John Edwards, the usual Bush-Cheney-McCain-Palin quartet, and us.
Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she“s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they“re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You“re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from The View. You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.
(Via BoingBoing)
