If I Have One More Pie A La Mode

I’m gonna need my own zip code.
Because I’m fat, I’m fat, sha mone.

Fat by Weird Al Yankovic

Two nicely-written opinions on America’s love-hate relationship with body fat. Despite the crazy amount of travel and delicious baked goods on my schedule this time of year, I’ve managed to fend off the Christmas 10. It’s not heroic self-discipline on my part (natch) but my stomach now rejecting any food and drink beyond a certain limit. Hooray for glucocorticoids.

Madison.com | Wisconsinites May Be Fat And Drunk, But At Least We’re Honest About It

If you call somebody on the phone in Connecticut, Massachusetts or Vermont and ask how much they weigh, meanwhile, they will say, “Practically nothing. I look pretty good, quite svelte, actually.” Your average Wisconsinite, in the meantime, will say, “I weigh roughly the same as a horse. I am so fat I can barely waddle to the bar — although I do make it there somehow.”

This sort of honesty and good humor, I believe, is what gives us such excellent mental health in comparison to other skinnier and supposedly more sober places. And, the fact is, there are only six states with better mental health than we have, based upon the number of days we tell interviewers we limit our activities for mental reasons. In other words, we Wisconsinites function well on a day-to-day basis — so long as there’s beer or donuts nearby.

Reason | Obama’s Obesity War

Yes, parents have the right to decide what their children eat—but let’s not pretend that many of them don’t make woefully bad decisions. One-third of American children and teenagers are overweight while nearly 20 percent are obese—a shocking rise since 1980, when the childhood obesity rate was barely above 5 percent. One need only look around to confirm these statistics. The consequences already include a spike in early-onset diabetes and high cholesterol. Things will get worse when fat children become fat adults.

… the cult of thinness poses its own health risks, including dangerous diets and eating disorders. It is equally true that no one, adult or child, should be treated cruelly because of body weight. But the answer is not to go to the other extreme and normalize, if not glamorize, obesity or the lifestyle choices that create it. Conservatives have often argued that, in order for a free society to flourish, individual freedom must be coupled with self-restraint. Perhaps some appreciation of this old-fashioned virtue is just what’s needed in the debate over food and fat.

How Guinness Is Made

The exhibits and layout of the Guinness Brewery tour have changed since we were there last six years ago. Each ingredient is highlighted appropriately and the walk is a lot more logical. I approve

Here’s a collage of some pictures I took on the tour. Starting from the bottom left and running clockwise: the mix of barley, hops, yeast and water is mixed, fermented, heated, distilled, barreled, advertised and then enjoyed the world over.

As you learn on the tour, “the eight million litres of water that flow into the Guinness brewery every day come from the Wicklow Mountains near Dublin.” Once you get to the Gravity Bar at the very top of the storehouse, the first thing you see is the schist-and-granite Wicklows to the south. We visited these mountains the following day – lots more to come in following posts. See, there’s that whole geology-civilization-beer connection again. Without rocks, we’d have nothing. You remember that.

“Enough of your rocks and camera already. Can we have our Guinness now?”

More Guinness brewery and Jameson distillery photos in this Flickr photo slideshow.

The Secret Bar At Kelly’s Hotel

Also known as “The Not So Secret Bar” at Kelly’s Hotel in the heart of Dublin. It felt a lot like the upstairs at Elizabeth’s restaurant in the Bywater of New Orleans. All the way from the little American hipsters hanging out in the various high-ceilinged rooms to the Neville Brothers and Killer’s favorite Professor Longhair on the jukebox.

Secret Bar At Kelly's

Remind me later to tell you about the time I was asked “If he was bald, why did he call himself Professor Longhair?” by a young woman in the city of New Orleans, and the look I gave her.

It stormed like a bag of wet cats that night. Across the street from Kelly’s is a tall old red-brick Gothic I was certain was a church of some sort (but no cross, hey?). Turns out it used to house a sausage factory. Guess the Irish love their bangers so much they’ll build towering edifices to protect them. Anyway, think this is where Bram Stoker got his inspiration for Dracula? Where’s Gary Oldman in Princess Leia buns when you need him?

Aaaand a gratuitous shot of three full pints of Guinness. With mood lighting. Sláinte.

Creamy Nectar Of Life

Day 60 Until It’s Gone

I think of Gulf oysters now and start to fret and crave them more than ever before. For someone who would get nausea on the mere mention of fish and shellfish as a child, raw oysters with hot sauce and fried oyster po’ boys are now a sublime delicacy and this is thanks to the sheer wholesome marvelousness of the Gulf oyster. D and I are heading to New Orleans in August for Rising Tide V and I was hoping to hit Elizabeth’s for one of my favorite dishes: Eggs Florentine with fried oysters. In the immortal words of Bender the robot, “Me thinks we be boned.”

The Advertiser | BP oil spill may be demise of oyster industry

It’s not just food. It’s a way of life. Take pride in what you eat.

I Will Forever Crave Elizabeth's Egg Florentine

I will forever crave Elizabeth's Eggs Florentine

RIP Ron Zappe

Cajun Crawtators OMNOMNOM

Bestest Potato Chips In The Universe

Ron Zappe, founder of Zapp’s Potato Chips, dies of throat cancer at 67

… his four companies went bankrupt during the 1980s oil bust and he moved from Houston to Louisiana and started a potato chip business.

… Mr. Zappe bought the former Faucheux Chevrolet dealership in Gramercy where he began making a thicker-cut, kettle-fried potato chip cooked in peanut oil.

I’m sure there’ s a moral in there somewhere, but I’m too busy stuffing my face with Cajun Crawtators, readily available in this small Ohio town by the way, to figure it out. (Have I ever told you about the time someone said these chips tasted like kettle chips with barbeque sauce and some old bay seasoning thrown in and I confiscated their bag? Heresy.)

Crawfish Monster Angry

The latest release from the murky head of Michael Homan (not to be confused with Tête d’Adrastos): GEAUXJIRA!

Director’s note: “As we made our movie, thousands of barrels of oil leaked every day on the Gulf of Mexico’s floor, causing the biggest environmental disaster in our lifetime. Moreover, we’re terrified about the ramifications the oil will have on our economy and lives. In making a parody there is a danger of giving the impression that we find this calamity to be funny. In fact, the opposite is true. We’re angry and frightened about the uncertain impact of this disaster.”

It’s an instant classic: god bless the Jurassic age of 2 million years ago, the Who Dat Boom, Pirate Persephone and the firing of the Crystal Cannons. Beyond priceless, indeed.

Veggie/Vegan Restaurants In NOLA?

The Chaister will be visiting New Orleans two times in the next six weeks. Yes, I am so incredibly jealous!

As a very strict vegan, she wants to know where to eat. Omnivore here doesn’t have this problem, but I do recall it was very hard to find restaurants in NOLA for my fanatically vegetarian mother, brother and sister-in-law. At least back in 2004.

Any NOLA dining recommendations for vegetarians and vegans?

nullVegan Donuts by VeganWarrior CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Wisconsin In The News

1. Finally, Wisconsin is recognized for something we’re really, really good at. Thanks to Nathan at Flowing Data for posting this FloatingSheep gem.

Flowing Data | Where Bars Trump Grocery Stores: “Red dots represent locations where there are more bars than grocery stores, based on results from the Google Maps API. The Midwest takes their drinking seriously.” Actually, it’s just Wisconsin that does. Central Minnesota, Chicago and southeast Illinois lightweights need not apply.

2. USA Today Science Fair | Tectonic Plate Model Lets Users Play With 3D Planetary Puzzle

Dubbed MORVEL, for Mid-Ocean Ridge VELocity (because much of the data comes from the mid-ocean ridges) it was created by University of Wisconsin-Madison geophysicist Chuck DeMets and collaborators Richard Gordon of Rice University and Donald Argus of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

MORVEL lets allows users model the relative movements of 25 interlocking tectonic plates that account for 97 percent of the Earth’s surface. It’s being presented in the April issue of Geophysical Journal International and is based on work the scientists have been doing for the past 20 years.

A dynamic three-dimensional puzzle of planetary proportions! Chuck was on my MS thesis committee and we used older versions of MORVEL in our graduate geophysics classes. Glad to see this great research and teaching aid get the attention it deserves.