Critters don’t have vendettas and moods. They simply need to be comprehended and treated with respect. More afraid of us than we are of them, they want to be left alone. So, please boycott movies that anthromorphize the animal kingdom (minus humans) and make it seem more dangerous than it is.
While reading an article on venomous fish, that outnumber snakes on this planet, I was reminded of something ridiculous in last Thursday’s USA Today – a picture of Samuel L. Jackson marketing Snakes On A Plane with a large albino python on his back. A python? And you expect me to sympathize with the humans in that film?
Pythons, boa constrictors, anacondas and other such oviviviparous reptiles are the last snakes to fear. Even I, who screams, jumps and sprints a mile at the sight of a NOLA-variety roach (they’re just gross), had a boa constrictor for five years. Granted Lukie, short for Lucifer, was constantly hungry and once mistook my finger for a mouse (my mistake), but he was the sweetest little guy who liked to roll up into a spiral and take long naps on my lap or belly.
The movie Anaconda (like The Core, Dante’s Peak, The Day After Tomorrow and Lake Placid) caused a few aneurysms. Humans are more likely to take animal malevolence for granted than, say, evolution or the age of the earth. Like the woman in 4-inch heels who ran up to a grazing Yellowstone buffalo, snapped a flash camera in its face and screamed in horror when the poor disoriented buffalo charged her. Yes, I watched this happen and would have been honored to give her a Darwin Award.
Black mambas, asps, copperheads, rattlers, cobras, kraits, large iguanas, gators, elephants, lions, tigers, sharks and even some birds are to be feared. However, their occasional horrible countenance and motions are out of their own fear and need for safety. Before entering their habitat, educate yourself and don’t engage/taunt them. When bringing them into your home, understand their needs and set yourself up for an animal that is not going to follow your rules unless it’s a domesticated and disciplined dog.
“No, my friend, we must not interfere, for it is nature’s way. Yes, it may seem cruel, but we must admire the skill with which this powerful scavenger stalks his meal.” — Marlon Hoek in Ren & Stimpy: Untamed World
Update: Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia, WA Hahahaha! It’s what you get when you settle in their territory and they are urbanized.
But in the movie, they give a good quasi-scientific explanation : All the snakes were (illegal) poisonous snakes from exotic parts of the world, and they were made aggressive by the use of pheromones :)
Some of the snakes were pretty! :)
It was a bad movie though.
Yeah, but why use a harmless python to advertise SOAP? Sheesh. And who in their right minds would transport aggressive, illegal and poisonous snakes in an airplane carrying humans? Deus ex stupida.
THE TERRORISTS, THAT’S WHO.
FIgured you’d be weak on terror…