This is what I tweet to my friends.
Because my opinion matters somehow. Well, it did to the LA Times blog, where I am quoted only three tweets down from Steve Martin Yes That Steve Martin.
Here it is: Get over it, you frustrated, misprioritizing tensionball of a nation just waiting to burst. I really don’t care if former South Carolina governor Mark Sanford “hiked the Appalachian trail” or if Anthony Weiner eWeinered. They are representatives of the people, not gods. Judge their politics. What is wrong with this world? The French think Dominique Strauss-Douche is some sort of entitled hero because he forced himself on a woman (and one so much weaker than him on the socioeconomic scale), while we Americans clutch our aprons at the slightest whiff of consensual sexual activity.
Have at John Edwards. He broke laws. Newt Gingrich – complete misogynistic asshole, but he hasn’t done anything illegal, although his actions do make me question his opinion of women. Arnold Schwarzenegger? That’s something to be sorted out among Maria Shriver, baby mama, baby and him. Public Official does not mean your personal life ought to be splayed out there for everyone in the United States of Stepford to have a conniption over. If they are representatives of us, then let’s treat them like we would our own fallible selves and let them sort their lives out in private.
I completely disagree with the notion that a person who cheats on and lies to his or her spouse would do the same to the public. These are separate realms. But, come at it from this angle: They’re politicians; they lie all the time and about more important stuff. Where’s this outrage when they prevaricate on The War On Terror, Wall St. bailouts and public healthcare? Policy lies kill and steal from many, while a politician who runs around on his or her spouse or tweets his schlong maybe burns our retinae and thus steals five minutes or so from our lives.
Just hope and pray that that place from which you source your morality doesn’t come to bite you in the behind if, heaven forbid, you should ever flub up. And don’t you dare think you’re a better human being because you’re faithful to your spouse but gleefully bless sending young people to die in foreign lands daily, in the name of our so-called freedoms.
But, most importantly, I am never using the Direct Message feature on Twitter again.
As always, succinctly and brilliantly put. I am forever baffled by the folks who can’t see the difference between being an idiot (i.e. I’m a Congressman and no one will notice that I’m tweeting my junk all over the place) and being a deceitful bullshitter on something really important (i.e. we didn’t intend to go to war with Iraq and kill Sadam so Daddy would be proud). I really think that the first example is easier for most people to wrap their heads around, giggle about, and go on about their day, whereas the second example is something they’d have to actually think about, do some research and maybe get irate about. It’s easier to just be judgmental about “junk.” You don’t have to do anything about that.
When Republican and Democrat voters say we ought to demand better from politicians on both sides, what does “better” mean? Better than being a diaper-dooder/schlong-shooter or a war criminal? These are two very different starting points for “better,” and one false moral equivalence after the other is making me wonder what the hell is wrong with these people.