Day 395: This Mortal Coil

“A man’s dying is more the survivors’ affair than his own.” – Thomas Mann

My father’s mother passed away in India last night and will be cremated early tomorrow morning.  It hasn’t been a year since his little brother’s death, so I worry about my dad’s state of mind.  Utterly useless to my family while in New Orleans, I remember my grandmother the only way I can, by writing about her:

Despite never having spent a substantial amount of time with her, I know Bhavani Patti (Grandma Bhavani) because I am her – she is the storyteller, writer, historian, people watcher and mocha-colored, Rubenesque pear-shaped woman in me. She was the inspiration for VatulNet and her death has kicked my rear into working harder on the genealogy portion of the site.

Patti“s children and grandchildren are almost everywhere in the world – India, Europe, Australia and the United States. Now, more than ever, is when we wish we could all miraculously converge in space and time to commiserate and grieve. But, time zones and logistics do not always militate in our favor.

… you may understand my chagrin at not having had or made the time to spend with the woman who created and raised my father, uncles and aunts. Yet, during this blink of a geological eye, I was privy to her company and advice whenever possible and grew a hearty appreciation for home and family. For that, I am grateful.

My grandmother went in the best of conditions – at 94, in her home, with minimal pain, surrounded by close family members and during an auspicious time of the year for us Hindus.

I love and miss you, Patti.