My first guest post at Sepia Mutiny: Salutations from the Third Coast!

My latest post at Metroblogging New Orleans: Litterbugs Need Not Apply

Rising Tide Conference this Saturday. Social from 5-8pm the night before at same location. Be there, just so you can figure out the difference between N. Roadway St. and S. Roadway St. for the morning of the conference.

It’s going to be a year?! (I promise not to break out into that horrid song from Rent – yeah, you know the one I’m talking about.)

Most critters don’t have vendettas and moods. They simply need to be comprehended and treated with respect. More afraid of us than we are of them, they want to be left alone. So, please boycott movies that anthropomorphize the animal kingdom (minus humans) and make it seem more dangerous than it is.

While reading an article on venomous fish, that outnumber snakes on this planet, I was reminded of something ridiculous in last Thursday’s USA Today – a picture of Samuel L. Jackson marketing Snakes On A Plane with a large albino python on his back. A python? One of the most harmless snakes on the planet. And you expect me to sympathize with the humans in that film?

Again, pythons, boa constrictors, anacondas, and other such oviviviparous reptiles are the last snakes to fear. Even I, who screams, jumps and sprints a mile at the sight of a NOLA-variety cockroach (they’re just gross – palmetto bug, my brown ass), had a boa constrictor for five years. Granted Lukie, short for Lucifer, was constantly hungry and once mistook my finger for a mouse (my mistake), but he was the sweetest little guy who liked to roll up into a spiral and take long naps on my lap or belly.

The movie Anaconda (like The Core, Dante’s Peak, The Day After Tomorrow and Lake Placid) caused a few aneurysms. Humans are more likely to take animal malevolence for granted than, say, evolution or the age of the earth. Like the woman in 4-inch heels who ran up to a grazing Yellowstone buffalo, snapped a flash camera in its face, and screamed in horror when the poor disoriented buffalo charged her. Yes, I watched this happen and would have been honored to give her a Darwin Award.

Black mambas, asps, copperheads, rattlers, cobras, kraits, large iguanas, gators, elephants, lions, tigers, sharks, and even some birds, cats, and dogs are to be feared.  However, their occasional horrible countenance and motions are out of their own fear and need for safety. Before entering their habitat, educate yourself and don’t engage/taunt them. When bringing them into your home, understand their needs and set yourself up for an animal that is not going to follow your rules unless it’s a thoroughly domesticated and disciplined dog.

“No, my friend, we must not interfere, for it is nature’s way. Yes, it may seem cruel, but we must admire the skill with which this powerful scavenger stalks his meal.” — Marlon Hoek in Ren & Stimpy: Untamed World

Update: Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia, WA  Hahahaha! It’s what you get when you settle in their territory and they are urbanized.

1. I’ve been invited to guest-blog on Sepia Mutiny for a month! The illest Hindu contacted me recently:

You would bring something fresh and important to the conversations on the site, in all your capacities, including scientist, knowledge-disseminatrix, and New Orleans resident. Of course, the point on Sepia is to work from desi angles, but as you may have noticed, we interpret this quite broadly. With the Katrina anniversary coming up, it would be, I think, valuable to have your voice and your perspective.

*squeee* This is a real honor, y’all. If it goes sans hiccup, coconuts that are not thrown at me will be offered to Ganesh. Incidentally, Siddhartha and our very own Lolis Eric Elie know one another. Of course.

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2.  It’s shaping up to be a busy week.  Between a deadline at work and the Rising Tide conference this weekend (and being joined at the hip to Mark Folse until our panel discussion is over), I may need an occasional pat on the head with a There there, it’s ok.  How about recruiting Kalypso as Junior Alternate Conference Coordinator to cover for Oyster and me in case we both go insane simultaneously?

Here’s the latest list of Speakers and Panelists. I want you to go to the registration page NOW and sign up NOW even if you don’t pay online. We need a headcount and will gladly accept cash at the door the day of.

$20 for an entire day of hanging out at the Yat Club with us and all of the fine New Orleans reporting talent we worked hard to get together, with a boxed Dunbar’s lunch, is the best deal I’ve seen in these parts yet. It’s worth saving up for. Of course, if you’re feeling especially generous, please feel free to donate some more to the cause. We’ll need it for post-conference meds.

Ashley Morris: Why You Should Come To The Rising Tide Conference

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3.  The “very strong tropical wave [that] moved off the coast of Africa” yesterday is freaking me out. The vibes ain’t nothin’ but the vibes, but they are all we have to go on in post-deluge, pre-probable-next-deluge New Orleans. Pete assures me that there is a lot of dust coming off Africa north of the winds, which should help smother them before they aggregate into something large, snarly and … large and snarly.

The internet is alive and well in the nation to our north, but who wants to sit at a computer when there is Toronto to see, food to eat, pictures to take, a wedding to attend, and more food (delicious Greek food) to eat?

A vote of confidence for Toronto is that it is a city in which I can live. Truly multicultural to its core, Toronto doesn’t flinch at the appearance of new cultures or the marriage of disparate ones, and welcomes all with open arms. The Indian, Chinese and Greek food are like eating at mom’s or an aunt’s kitchen and even the littlest of taverns have the best beverage selections. When Nepalese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Jamaican, French, Arab, and mixed-culture families rush down the street loudly conversing or arguing in their native tongues and a South Indian restaurant boasts its name and menu in Tamil and no other language, you know you’re in the real.

I missed and was missed at Geek Dinner 2: Loki’s Revenge. But, D, a bunch of Wisconsin compadres, and I Greeked (and Chinesed and Jamaicaed and geologized) out at the wedding celebration of our dear friends, Tim and Helen, instead:

• Oot And Aboot In Toronto
• At The Chinese Lantern Festival In Ontario Park
• Shaking Our Moneymakers At The Big Fat Greek Wedding Reception
• Staring At Horseshoe Falls (and arguing with D over the usage of the term escarpment)

It was great to see the Lee clan and members of the old Wisconsin gang – Tim, Helen, Mike, Katya, Andy – make new ones and get busy on the dance floor with Dave and Machelle. Helen’s dad, Demetrios, is a wizard with a mean cut of the rug to Zorba The Greek.