I Present The Mythical Three-Headed Ferret

Put Me Down. PUT. ME. DOWN.

A couple of weekends ago, I finally got to meet the famed dingos of the temple of Athenae. And there was much chaos.

Q: What is a group of ferrets called?
Survey says: A group of ferrets is called a ”business” or busy-ness.

They’re not kidding about the business part. The Chicago mob ain’t got nothing on these critters. They get in everything. Everything. For instance, here’s Bucky looking for his cellphone to call a raccoon about a shipment. Or football bets. Or both.

HALLO Where Is Phone? Must Place Bets.

And here’s Riot right before he tries to rip my shoe off while Bucky negotiates his piece. Nothing is sacred.

But WAIT Not Until I Rip Off The Soles Of Your SHOEZES

They are truly adorable and warm and cuddly and squishable and whole lots more, especially gentle little Claire bug. Thanks, As, for sharing your squirrels and lovely home with me!

Here’s the phull Phlickr set of pherret photographs. Come back for ones I took at the Greater Chicago Ferret Association. One word: Cloverfield.

Of Honest Teachers And Precious Rock Hammers

Mi Martillo Estwing, shared by Caribú

This month’s Accretionary Wedge geology blog carnival. Almost forgot about it. Topic: “What is the most important geological experience you’ve had?” Consider this my official entry.

One would think it occurred on an outcrop. One would also think it happened on a field trip or at field camp, as it did to rock stars such as Brian Romans, Geotripper, Tuff Cookie and Callan Bentley. One would imagine it transpired while I stared longingly into a microscope at those mesmerizingly birefringent thin sections.

One would be wrong.

Admittedly, what led me to study the discipline was an outcrop which today I can locate only as being somewhere between Salt Lake City and Reno along I-80. I am aware that is around 500 miles of Basin & Range to choose from. It’s on the north side of the highway, if that helps. I know also that the terrain, especially along the highway, doesn’t lend itself to great revelation as does say The Grand Canyon, the Himalayas or even the Baraboo Hills of Wisconsin. Furthermore, I painfully admit that, many years later, discovering the photograph I took of said hill after the epiphany leads me to believe there was much sleep deprivation involved. It’s a sad, grey, talus-dripping pile of Unimportant and you don’t want me to scan that picture and post it here. Trust me on this one.

Also, my field camp sucked. Not the Wasatch-Uinta Summer Field Camp Experience® per se, but my crappy six weeks there. A persistent upper respiratory problem, an abraded and severely-dehydrated left cornea and two professors acting up due to personal problems does not a positive field experience make, however liberating and interesting the field setting. S’il vous plait to leave me at Chateau Apres with le chicken soup.

My most important geological experience happened in 1995 at the department of geology of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. What no outcrops, planely erratic through no fault of their own, subduct Illinois for popcorn, Flatland, your state’s so boring and flat you can put the car in cruise control and take a nap in back, etc. Yes.

Having told my Indian-immigrant parents what I thought of a future in medicine (not much), I embarked on the aforementioned road trip westward, stayed a while and then returned to Illinois after almost losing my eyeballs to the high cost of California living, and enrolled in accounting and science classes to see what would stick. I kicked Accounting’s rear so hard I could be Lord Comptroller of the known universe right now. Both professors, both semesters, gushed over my attention to detail, the excessive tidiness of my paper balance sheets (you down with OCD? yeah, you know me!), that I would wake up in the middle of the night with solutions to activity rates for cost pools and that I cracked jokes in class and livened up their otherwise dull classrooms.

But, every once in a while, the little lab-coated girl in me who wanted to be a scientist when she grew up would rear up and say, “Accounting is really tidy and happy-making, but its rules are so arbitrary, sometimes silly and not as inherently open to inquiry as natural laws. What more, this is easy, memorizable stuff. Where’s the challenge?” During that second semester of accounting, well on my way to a corner cubicle at Deloitte & Touche, I was simultaneously enrolled in Geology 101. It was Rocks for Jocks through and through, with full-to-capacity stadium seats oozing out hungover frat boys there for those easy five credits, but taught by a highly intelligent and eager professor named Wang-Ping Chen. I didn’t know what this man was on about with his bright-eyed, impassioned lectures on everything from surficial mass wasting to deep mantle dynamics, but I was determined to see this class through even if it meant arriving early to catch a seat up front (didn’t have to try too hard for those) and staying late to ask real questions about geology and the curriculum, beyond the usual “My roommate peed on my assignment. Can I turn it in late?”

Of great importance to me and the point of this post is that, through the course of the semester, Professor Chen noticed this curiosity and indecision on my part, and went out of his way to convince me to enroll in UIUC’s geoscience program of study. During office hours, he would honestly and tirelessly list all of the degree’s challenges and, like every good Asian parent, none of its rewards. That mineralogy required chemistry and optics, being able to identify thousands of minerals and late hours in the lab. That the geology curriculum required geophysics which in turn needed linear algebra and differential equations and three physics classes including electricity & magnetism. That structural geology was difficult for many but I should take it the following semester when it was offered. That much field and lab work was required on weekends. That distinction and honors in the program (and he expected no less) came only with undergraduate research and a thesis. That beyond here were graduate school, more graduate school and, maybe some day, a postdoctoral position and then the tenure track. Was this man insane? All of this extra work was supposed to entice me into the world of Earth?

But it clicked, didn’t it? For three years, I did all that Professor Chen suggested and more (like the insane goat rodeo that was Sed-Strat, only because we were between decent instructors that semester), and went on to graduate school in structural geology and geophysics. It occurred to me recently that the science-rich life I have now is my reward. I would never have made it in the confines of an accounting firm, and I believe the professor saw that and talked me out in time. Again, he could have very easily told me to go to the department office and fill out a form, but it took the candid scientist and teacher in him to tell me what I was up against, should I choose to accept, and to offer me context and realistic goals. While I talk about my love for the University of Wisconsin as a great scholarly and research institution on par with Stanford, MIT and other global academies, these schools have a lot to learn with respect to the extra care given to those critical undergraduates. For simply read all of the entries in this Accretionary Wedge exercise and then look at the point in the stratigraphic column of each of our careers that we label “Important.”

So I lied. Professor Chen did have a tangible and very cool reward for me at the end. After the Geology 101 grades were published and I had submitted my application materials to the geology department, he invited me back to his office. I was offered a brown paper bag (no, not a fifth of Wild Turkey; that comes in graduate school) which contained a hammer I’d never seen before. Its handle was blue with the word Estwing on it in bright yellow letters and in the place of its claw was a sharp pick. “This is a rock hammer, an essential tool for the geologist. You’re going to need it for your upcoming field trips. You will get a bigger version of it if you’re outstanding junior and a Brunton compass if you graduate from this department at the top of your undergraduate class.”

To this day, I count those two rock hammers and Brunton compass as some of my most prized possessions. They are very easily replaced if lost, but they wouldn’t be the ones I earned. They would not be symbols of their trade that were offered out of encouragement, pride and these geoscientists’ faith in my abilities at a time when I couldn’t see past that Saturday. One of these weeks, I’ll have to email Professor Chen and let him know that I keep the rock hammer he gave me under the passenger’s seat of my car at all times (you never know when a rock sample needs liberating and a hammer is just more me than, say, a baseball bat) and how important and lasting his efforts as an instructor were.

It appears Professor Chen is head of the department now. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

All You Can Leave Behind

Not dead. Really, I’m not. With travel, work and everything edible and intellectual absorbed during said travel and work, I’ve a lot of catching up to do.

I’m also going through what Terry Gross and Andy Ihnatko explore here and here, respectively, i.e. digital information Twitter blog overload cortisol bzzzt. Instead of killing all of my social media accounts in a fit of pique and then retiring to the basement for two weeks, I figured simple things like paring back and going to bed early are actually more … dare I say it … constructive.

But I was in one of my favorite cities – Chicago – a couple of weekends ago and saw Neil deGrasse Tyson in Cleveland last week. Everyone needs the Art Institute and science talks made of cool from time to time.

Back after the brain’s extended spa break. Expect some photos of paintings in the meanwhile. Yes, how very recursive. Deal.

Krish Ashok Does The Creation Museum

One of my peeps, as in snarky, Tanglish*-speaking person of Madras** origin, tires of Cincinnati and visits the Creation Museum. It’s great stuff, so please head to his blog and read it all.

This paragraph, in particular, cracked me up because of its conclusion.

Cincinnati is a large city with levels of urban excitement that slightly exceed that of a doped bear in hibernation. So when I found myself staring at a 2 week long stay, I was worried about what I would do in my leisure time. That was when my colleague Harish … pointed out that the Creation Museum was just a few miles from downtown Cincinnati, my religious (and blogging) instincts fired up and we found ourselves at 2800, Bullitsburg Church road, Petersburg, Kentucky on a Sunday afternoon. Kentucky is filled with places that end in “burg” and for some reason it reminded me of whiskey and hooded white men wielding torches that burned crosses, so we decided to play it safe. I became Christopher (“Chris”) Asher and my friend, Harish Ravindran became (as a result of his undying fanboyism) Harris Jeyaraj. I even told him that he could explain his last name to evangelical Christians as “Victory of the Kingdom of God” or something to that effect.

… I am always disappointed when my precisely nurtured stereotypes fail to come true.

Such cross-cultural exploration has distinct advantages. Like repeatedly reminding us that the more humans are different the more we are the same, superstition is not the specialty of a single group of people, we are all whackjobs so it’s a miracle humanity has done anything constructive, etc.

… Now, lifetime members are a different species altogether. They pay $495 and are people who seriously believe that (barring the engineering that built the museum itself) science is generally bad and that (a specific English version of ) the Bible is literally true. But then I have met VHP-RSS type uncles in Chennai who believe that India had the Pushpaka Vimaana thousands of years before the Wright brothers. And people drop jewellery into the Hundi at Tirupati, so to each his own I guess.

Not to mention the creation of happy-making neologisms such as Wyoming Tyranoswareshwara Iyer and the Vadivel Theory of the Origin of Man.

* Tamil-English. Think Tex-Mex, but funnier. Also, snarky Madrasi is a redundancy.
** I refuse to call it Chennai.

Day 150 Unvanished, Unfinished

Untoward. But not unfathomable. We, in these here parts, are accustomed to years-long aftermaths and revelations, after all.

WDSU.com | Government Accused Of Bungling Spill Evidence: Companies Say Failed Blowout Preventer Not Adequately Preserved

al.com | Oil spill claims czar: “I over-promised and under-delivered” Meanwhile, back in the real world where people live and die paycheck to paycheck, Gulf Coast Residents in Financial Dire Straits, Waiting for BP Claims. Feinberg could have delivered at least 20 checks in the time it took to feel sorry for himself.

nola.com | New wave of oil comes ashore west of Mississippi River The Zombie points out that this article was well-hidden in the Times-Pic’s Outdoors section (gotta have our information priorities), while Swampwoman asks “Didya REALLY think it was over?”

CBS News | Oil 2-Inches Thick Found On Gulf Sea Floor As far as 80 miles from the BP well.

***

The EPA yesterday concluded a two-day hearing in Binghamton, NY on the topic of hydro-fracking. This is what an attendee said at this hearing (as tweeted by @edrcommonground): “No one wants H2O contamination but NY economy is bleeding blue collar jobs, need fracking now.”

Sound familiar, Louisiana?

Travel Bug

It has hit again. Conference and meeting travel doesn’t count. I can wreck my neck and hands while typing into a laptop and then trudge over to happy hour right here.

I also long for real outcrops. This last trip to Fort Collins afforded no time for a hike or even to touch a dipping sandstone for five minutes, to commune with the texture of its well-sorted quartz grains. See, I need a fix and quick.

You heard me, real outcrops. Not my yard’s glacial erratics or the painfully horizontal Mississippian argillaceous shale down the road. D keeps talking about a trip to Ireland this fall. One Precambrian marble in place. That’s all I ask for. Like this one. Never mind that it’s as far away from Dublin that you can get in Ireland.

Folded Marble, County Donegal (courtesy of Ulster Museum)

“Anti-Colonial”

Our media and pundits are useless.

Thought I’d point out a few things about Dinesh D’Souza’s latest for Forbes in which he opines on Obama:

Here is a man who spent his formative years–the first 17 years of his life–off the American mainland, in Hawaii, Indonesia and Pakistan, with multiple subsequent journeys to Africa.

… To his son, the elder [Kenyan] Obama represented a great and noble cause, the cause of anticolonialism.

The American Conservative’s Daniel Larison countered, “… conservative pundits and writers such as D’Souza have been indulging in so much evidence-free, ideological babbling for the last two years that many of them now seem convinced that this babbling is actually extremely serious, insightful commentary.”

Sweet myopia, Larison and everyone else. Haven’t you people learned already to stop and examine what was really said before you knee-jerk react and repel?

For starters, this is pure projection. Dinesh D’Souza himself spent his formative years – the first 17 years of his life – off the American mainland, in India. He arrived here through an international Rotarian program to attend college. Phew, the self-loathing must be strong in this one.

Next, remember the Town Hall meeting before the last presidential election in which McCain placated an audience member with “Obama is not an Arab.” Wait up. Being an Arab is bad? Listen to what comes out of their mouths: Being anti-colonial is bad? Conversely, colonialism is good? Armed with this realization, liberals now challenge conservatives like Gingrich and D’Souza on whether they agree with this notion.

As I have witnessed, unfortunately, a pro-colonial sentiment is very alive and well all across conservative America. For one example, a very prominent area Republican, highly educated in science and history, informed me that Haiti wouldn’t suffer half of its infrastructure problems if it were still under colonial rule. “These people just don’t know how to take care of themselves and there is no accountability structure.” This is the American democracy we ship abroad, folks: not self-determination but external accountability structures.

So, what D’Souza and Gingrich spew before midterms is not necessarily evidence-free babble but the fearless articulation of long-held beliefs. It is great insight not into Obama but the conservative psyche. And I am amazed at how often the media and their experts hit the mother lode and haven’t the first clue what to do with it.

“Women In Science” Day Quick Links

Lilavati’s Daughters: The Women Scientists of India

a collection of (auto)biographical essays of about 100 women scientists who have worked and are working in India. The name is drawn from The Lilavati, a twelfth century treatise in which the mathematician Bhaskaracharya addresses a number of problems to his daughter, Lilavati.

Cornelia Clermont Cameron

Cornelia earned a B.A. and M.A. in Botany in 1933 and 1935, and in 1940 she got her Ph.D. in Geology, with an emphasis on geomorphology. She worked for various geological outfits during her career, inlcuding Cities Service Oil Company, the Iowa Geological Survey, and Stephens College. She was at the USGS from 1951 until she died in 1994 at the age of 83.

DrugMonkey | The Women of MDMA Research

Marie Curie Tops 10 Most Inspirational Female Scientists Poll

Any more? Please leave them in your comment.