Slashdot | High-Tech Burglars May Get Longer Sentences In Louisiana

Burglars and terrorists should be careful not to use Google Maps if they plan on committing crimes in the state of Louisiana … a bill approved 89-0 by the Louisiana House will require that judges impose an additional minimum sentence of at least 10 years on terrorist acts if the crime is committed with the aid of an Internet-generated ‘virtual map.’ The bill, already approved by the Louisiana Senate, defines a ‘virtual street-level map’ as one that is available on the Internet and can generate the location or picture of a home or building by entering the address of the structure or an individual’s name on a website. If the map is used in the commission of a crime like burglary, the bill calls for the addition of at least one year in jail (PDF) to be added to the burglary sentence.

Because you have to case a joint the old-fashioned way, dammit, sitting outside in a sketchy van with binoculars! Not using this cold, heartless, new-fangled Internet!

I … hmmm … uhhhh … I don’t know where to start with this one. Nothing else of import on the legislative agenda? Conducting a terrorist act isn’t bad enough, you get 10 years, y’heard, 10 WHOLE YEARS EXTRA for using the series of tubes for reconnaissance. That the Louisiana legislature should encourage the use of Google Maps for such activity because it will most likely send the would-be criminal to the wrong location? The bill was approved 89-0 in the LA House after passing the Senate; are all of the state’s elected representatives tech-illiterate geezers?

For the love of justice, David Vitter is giving away the keys to the castle and you’re worried about common criminals and imagined terrorists using digital cartography?

I suggest an amendment to the bill that jails people for geolocating their home addresses for others and then blasting to the world when they’re away from home. If you’re that stupid, you need to be put away for your own good.

***

While its idiot politicians waste taxpayer money, the rest of Louisiana fights the good fight in the throes of deep, horrifying, sickening despair. From Charlie Mac and His Junk Shots, a remake of the musical classic Jambalaya (On The Bayou):

Goodbye Joe, me gotta go, me o my o
Oil slick come and it’s as big as Ohio.
BP says they gonna clean the mess but they lie-o
Son of a gun, oil by the ton on the bayou.

St. Bernard gonna take it hard, and that’s a shame-o
Plaquemines just can’t win, and who’s to blame-o?
Big oil slick make the little fish sick, kill the game-o
Son of a gun, they got us on the run on the bayou.

The Firefly Principle: What happens on the Internet isn’t representative of real life.

The Flies To Carcass principle: What happens in Washington isn’t representative of real life, either.

“Obama’s Katrina” is nice, irrelevant pablum for folks who don’t (want to) understand the differences between natural and manmade disasters, who cannot tell apart hurricanes, failed levees, oil gushing into the Gulf from a yet uncapped well and what actually needs to be done on the ground.

Meanwhile, Louisiana’s representatives in Washington don’t have access to Washington right now, while the media and pundits talk about the problem in terms of political hay and re-electability quotients.

I’m going to be sick now. And nothing I feel can compare to or fix what those who live and work on the coast are going through. Wait until jobs remain lost along the coast and suicides and domestic violence go up, I am reminded.

Are we fixing the MMS, EPA, FEMA and Department of Energy yet? Do we have a solid government-industry consortium and emergency response plan for the next uncontrolled blowout yet? Until then, politicians and reporters can keep their mouths shut about this issue, unless they are asking and reporting on these questions. Until that time, Drew Carey had better not come to Cleveland and lecture City Council on how they need not know how to run schools and grocery stores when the free market should be hired to take care of it all. It’s all really nice if you live under a rock and don’t observe what happens “when big government AND small government AND free enterprise all fail catastrophically multiple times within the same decade.”

“If the disasters themselves are not preventable, sometimes the way we handle the aftermath is.” – Adele Barker in Disaster’s Aftermath

President Obama just got done meeting the press. Other than his showing genuine concern about the disaster and verbally owning it, color me unimpressed. See, I don’t want Obama to take responsibility for things that are not his fault like the rig explosion, subsequent leak of 12,000+ barrels per day (multiplied by 38 days) into the Gulf of Mexico and onto priceless coastal real estate or even the state of the MMS and US drilling regulations until April 20th, 2010 (admit it, the man had quite a bit on his plate already until that day). As The Gambit asked, “What is the consequence of being responsible?”

Nothing.

As in the case of the flood of New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina, a botched recovery is always worse than the disaster itself. This is precisely where Obama can make a difference and has to accept responsibility. The EPA, MMS and FEMA are weak and, as much as I respect the Coast Guard for their historic record of awesome response to various American maritime disasters, they aren’t actually doing much in this case. Decisions may have been made based on “the best science we’ve got,” as Obama said during the presser, but I am afraid the best logistics were not employed.

Case in point: Admiral Allen Approves One Section of Louisiana Barrier Island Project Proposal as Part of Federal Oil Spill Response

The Army Corps of Engineers has granted partial approval for Louisiana’s barrier island project proposal, covering approximately half of the state’s original request and including six sections.

Under this permit, but without coordination with Admiral Allen and the Unified Command, Louisiana is authorized to construct the barrier islands at its own expense, so long as construction meets the terms and conditions established by the Army Corps of Engineers and any other required permits are obtained. If Louisiana moves forward, they will need to address all potential costs and environmental impacts.

Admiral Allen’s recommendation would integrate a section of the project with the federal oil spill response—and therefore potential funding by BP, as a responsible party, or the federal Oil Spill Liability Trust Fund.

Wow, how generous. All this after yesterday “[Governor Jindal] repeated his call to get federal permission to dredge sand and create barrier islands to protect inland estuaries. The Army Corps of Engineers is fast-tracking the application but must allow other agencies to comment, according to federal environmental law.”

Why do we have to stand in line at the DMV, fill out TPS reports and file them in triplicate to protect our coastline during a national emergency? This is exactly where Obama comes in and can help. This is what we must demand. Instead of asking BP to step aside and have government take over (and do what exactly other than having put another company in charge of executing Top Kill three weeks ago?), we ought to be asking government to remove red tape around the dredging. The government argues it is assessing the environmental impact of dredging. Let me think: dredging plan’s environmental impact versus impact of crude oil entering estuaries and marshes. Yup, they’re right: we shouldn’t dredge. *facepalm*

An executive order could supersede all this crap.

But no, we get a presser in which Obama defends his drilling stance and says “That’s why you never heard me say Drill Baby Drill.” Who cares?

Oil in water. Courtesy SkyTruth

Wait, there’s more:

Allen said he has approved the use of dredges “where work could be completed the fastest” as part of the federal response to the oil spill. But for a larger portion approved by the Army Corps of Engineers, Louisiana will be responsible for its own costs and environmental impact, Allen announced.

Ok, who put the oil in the water so that it would float ashore? And who just took responsibility for it (see beginning of post)? So, why is Louisiana responsible for “its own costs and environmental impact?” Executive order #2 – send the bill for every last dime of cleanup to BP.

MMS chief resigned/fired. Big deal. As D says, “This is the excuse needed to gut and redefine the entire MMS. No one can say a thing about it.” Executive order #3 – throw out bad apples and reorganize the MMS yesterday.

And what do we have an EPA for if it hasn’t previously assessed the environmental impact of a rig catching fire, falling over, sinking into the ocean with the riser still attached and connected to a failed blowout preventer? (Incidentally, we left that one to BP also and they came up with the impact of a spill on creatures that don’t live in the Gulf of Mexico.) Executive order #4 – Strengthen the EPA by hiring environmental scientists, well/drilling engineers and emergency logisticians independent of the MMS. If we’re going to take it seriously in disaster management and mitigation, the government has a lot of studying to do and a Pat Campbell or three of its own who can really take control of a situation as large as this. If the government “does not possess superior technology to BP,” it’s time it did or put itself in a position to get the right private-sector people and technology in place quickly.

What’s the latest word on Top Kill?

This latest Top Kill procedure (see diagram here) had better work, despite the 50-50 odds. Ever seen a Hindu scientist cross herself? You have now. Hey, if it helps.

The Oil Drum is hosting a live Top Kill comments thread for those who want to discuss what’s going on. (Awww, they went and made a new post with fresh comments just for me.)

Some folks are getting tired of watching the underwater video with no sound. What did you expect? Steve Irwin reporting live from the rover for 24 to 48 hours? Turn on some Berlin or the soundtrack to The Life Aquatic if this bores you. Seriously, I urge you to stick with the video as long as possible to let them know we’re watching. We’re boned as it is, but if this fails … I don’t even want to think about it.

Update: What’s this about MSNBC experts saying there’s a second major oil plume and that BP is fixing the minor plume only, while hiding the real geyser? If they kill the well, there will be no more plumes.

Yes, we have lost patience with this situation and are angry as hell. Yes, we wonder what the hell is wrong with America today and why its priorities are so topsy-turvy. Yes, people are stupid and contradict themselves for personal gain. Yes, I will give up cynicism for Lent if Top Kill works today. Yes, the frustration kills. Now let’s understand that these feelings, too, are luxuries that others who are hurting can’t afford and get down to the business of helping them.

* The Lens | BP rep Randy Prescott: “Louisiana isn’t the only place that has shrimp.”

Email randy.prescott@bp.com and ask him if he has the nuts to say that directly to a group of Louisiana’s fishers and shrimpers who have lost their jobs, home and way of life because of this ongoing disaster.

* First Draft | Blogs for Birds: Something We Can Do for the Gulf

Your contribution to the The International Bird Rescue Center via First Draft will help rescue oiled coastal birds, clean them and house them in a rehabilitation center. First Draft readers alone have adopted four 6.5 pelicans. I hope the readers of this blog can get us up to 10 (yes, I’m looking at you).

* Stop screaming at the federal government to push BP aside and to fix the continuing leaks. Why do you think we lease our land and waters to various oil companies to do the job on our joint behalf? In other words, the United States of America has no technology to stop the flow. We have essentially rented out our roads, for a paltry sum, to a chauffeur who made a car we haven’t the first clue how to drive, and are along for the ride. Furthermore, other companies like Shell and Chevron may have such technology but the US cannot order them to step in where BP has failed.


There are useful things our government can do. You must urge your congresspeople to:

- grant NOAA and other research institutions the necessary access to collect as much data as possible on the gusher and everything it impacts.

… researchers are expressing concerns over the limited science being done in and around affected areas … the information could help efforts to contain the effects of the disaster and, in the longer term, “ensure we have the best underlying science to guide our response to the next spill,” says Ira Leifer, a chemical engineer at the Marine Sciences Institute at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

- vote to end spill liability caps. As Jude says, “If it takes two days or two months to stop the petroleum spewing out of the sea floor, [the Gulf is] still f***ed. BP can’t stop that. The government can’t. But the government can make ‘em pay.” You can help MAKE THEM PAY until the spill is cleaned up and everything is back to the way it was. (Fifty years should do it, D adds.)

- acknowledge that the most important activity for the United States should be an engineering program similar to the Apollo Moon Project to develop alternative energy sources that are renewable and nonpolluting. Every single bit of research on alternative fuels pulls us that much farther away from our dependence on fossil fuels and the murder of our nation and planet in the process. It was innovation that helped us find coal and oil and will aid us in fueling the future. Help your kids with their science homework while you’re at it.

If you have any other ideas, please leave them in the comments’ section. No useless petitions please –  all they really accomplish is putting your email address on a spam mailing list.

Being angry, crying and then retreating to our bedrooms and computers in a depressed huff is understandable but it isn’t enough. A whole big portion of America is in real pain.

[From Boing Boing]

Alternative titles for this post:

1. Why It’s The Aristocats and Jungle Book And No More
2. When Preying On Kids’ Separation Anxiety Isn’t Enough
3. Mainstreaming Grimm’s Medieval Germany In Modern America
4. Hey, Eeyore Is A Princess, Too