No, Not With The Google Maps!

Slashdot | High-Tech Burglars May Get Longer Sentences In Louisiana

Burglars and terrorists should be careful not to use Google Maps if they plan on committing crimes in the state of Louisiana … a bill approved 89-0 by the Louisiana House will require that judges impose an additional minimum sentence of at least 10 years on terrorist acts if the crime is committed with the aid of an Internet-generated ‘virtual map.’ The bill, already approved by the Louisiana Senate, defines a ‘virtual street-level map’ as one that is available on the Internet and can generate the location or picture of a home or building by entering the address of the structure or an individual’s name on a website. If the map is used in the commission of a crime like burglary, the bill calls for the addition of at least one year in jail (PDF) to be added to the burglary sentence.

Because you have to case a joint the old-fashioned way, dammit, sitting outside in a sketchy van with binoculars! Not using this cold, heartless, new-fangled Internet!

I … hmmm … uhhhh … I don’t know where to start with this one. Nothing else of import on the legislative agenda? Conducting a terrorist act isn’t bad enough, you get 10 years, y’heard, 10 WHOLE YEARS EXTRA for using the series of tubes for reconnaissance. That the Louisiana legislature should encourage the use of Google Maps for such activity because it will most likely send the would-be criminal to the wrong location? The bill was approved 89-0 in the LA House after passing the Senate; are all of the state’s elected representatives tech-illiterate geezers?

For the love of justice, David Vitter is giving away the keys to the castle and you’re worried about common criminals and imagined terrorists using digital cartography?

I suggest an amendment to the bill that jails people for geolocating their home addresses for others and then blasting to the world when they’re away from home. If you’re that stupid, you need to be put away for your own good.

***

While its idiot politicians waste taxpayer money, the rest of Louisiana fights the good fight in the throes of deep, horrifying, sickening despair. From Charlie Mac and His Junk Shots, a remake of the musical classic Jambalaya (On The Bayou):

Goodbye Joe, me gotta go, me o my o
Oil slick come and it’s as big as Ohio.
BP says they gonna clean the mess but they lie-o
Son of a gun, oil by the ton on the bayou.

St. Bernard gonna take it hard, and that’s a shame-o
Plaquemines just can’t win, and who’s to blame-o?
Big oil slick make the little fish sick, kill the game-o
Son of a gun, they got us on the run on the bayou.

Day 39

The Firefly Principle: What happens on the Internet isn’t representative of real life.

The Flies To Carcass principle: What happens in Washington isn’t representative of real life, either.

“Obama’s Katrina” is nice, irrelevant pablum for folks who don’t (want to) understand the differences between natural and manmade disasters, who cannot tell apart hurricanes, failed levees, oil gushing into the Gulf from a yet uncapped well and what actually needs to be done on the ground.

Meanwhile, Louisiana’s representatives in Washington don’t have access to Washington right now, while the media and pundits talk about the problem in terms of political hay and re-electability quotients.

I’m going to be sick now. And nothing I feel can compare to or fix what those who live and work on the coast are going through. Wait until jobs remain lost along the coast and suicides and domestic violence go up, I am reminded.

Are we fixing the MMS, EPA, FEMA and Department of Energy yet? Do we have a solid government-industry consortium and emergency response plan for the next uncontrolled blowout yet? Until then, politicians and reporters can keep their mouths shut about this issue, unless they are asking and reporting on these questions. Until that time, Drew Carey had better not come to Cleveland and lecture City Council on how they need not know how to run schools and grocery stores when the free market should be hired to take care of it all. It’s all really nice if you live under a rock and don’t observe what happens “when big government AND small government AND free enterprise all fail catastrophically multiple times within the same decade.”

Day 38 Top Underkill

“If the disasters themselves are not preventable, sometimes the way we handle the aftermath is.” – Adele Barker in Disaster’s Aftermath

President Obama just got done meeting the press. Other than his showing genuine concern about the disaster and verbally owning it, color me unimpressed. See, I don’t want Obama to take responsibility for things that are not his fault like the rig explosion, subsequent leak of 12,000+ barrels per day (multiplied by 38 days) into the Gulf of Mexico and onto priceless coastal real estate or even the state of the MMS and US drilling regulations until April 20th, 2010 (admit it, the man had quite a bit on his plate already until that day). As The Gambit asked, “What is the consequence of being responsible?”

Nothing.

As in the case of the flood of New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina, a botched recovery is always worse than the disaster itself. This is precisely where Obama can make a difference and has to accept responsibility. The EPA, MMS and FEMA are weak and, as much as I respect the Coast Guard for their historic record of awesome response to various American maritime disasters, they aren’t actually doing much in this case. Decisions may have been made based on “the best science we’ve got,” as Obama said during the presser, but I am afraid the best logistics were not employed.

Case in point: Admiral Allen Approves One Section of Louisiana Barrier Island Project Proposal as Part of Federal Oil Spill Response

The Army Corps of Engineers has granted partial approval for Louisiana’s barrier island project proposal, covering approximately half of the state’s original request and including six sections.

Under this permit, but without coordination with Admiral Allen and the Unified Command, Louisiana is authorized to construct the barrier islands at its own expense, so long as construction meets the terms and conditions established by the Army Corps of Engineers and any other required permits are obtained. If Louisiana moves forward, they will need to address all potential costs and environmental impacts.

Admiral Allen’s recommendation would integrate a section of the project with the federal oil spill response—and therefore potential funding by BP, as a responsible party, or the federal Oil Spill Liability Trust Fund.

Wow, how generous. All this after yesterday “[Governor Jindal] repeated his call to get federal permission to dredge sand and create barrier islands to protect inland estuaries. The Army Corps of Engineers is fast-tracking the application but must allow other agencies to comment, according to federal environmental law.”

Why do we have to stand in line at the DMV, fill out TPS reports and file them in triplicate to protect our coastline during a national emergency? This is exactly where Obama comes in and can help. This is what we must demand. Instead of asking BP to step aside and have government take over (and do what exactly other than having put another company in charge of executing Top Kill three weeks ago?), we ought to be asking government to remove red tape around the dredging. The government argues it is assessing the environmental impact of dredging. Let me think: dredging plan’s environmental impact versus impact of crude oil entering estuaries and marshes. Yup, they’re right: we shouldn’t dredge. *facepalm*

An executive order could supersede all this crap.

But no, we get a presser in which Obama defends his drilling stance and says “That’s why you never heard me say Drill Baby Drill.” Who cares?

Oil in water. Courtesy SkyTruth

Wait, there’s more:

Allen said he has approved the use of dredges “where work could be completed the fastest” as part of the federal response to the oil spill. But for a larger portion approved by the Army Corps of Engineers, Louisiana will be responsible for its own costs and environmental impact, Allen announced.

Ok, who put the oil in the water so that it would float ashore? And who just took responsibility for it (see beginning of post)? So, why is Louisiana responsible for “its own costs and environmental impact?” Executive order #2 – send the bill for every last dime of cleanup to BP.

MMS chief resigned/fired. Big deal. As D says, “This is the excuse needed to gut and redefine the entire MMS. No one can say a thing about it.” Executive order #3 – throw out bad apples and reorganize the MMS yesterday.

And what do we have an EPA for if it hasn’t previously assessed the environmental impact of a rig catching fire, falling over, sinking into the ocean with the riser still attached and connected to a failed blowout preventer? (Incidentally, we left that one to BP also and they came up with the impact of a spill on creatures that don’t live in the Gulf of Mexico.) Executive order #4 – Strengthen the EPA by hiring environmental scientists, well/drilling engineers and emergency logisticians independent of the MMS. If we’re going to take it seriously in disaster management and mitigation, the government has a lot of studying to do and a Pat Campbell or three of its own who can really take control of a situation as large as this. If the government “does not possess superior technology to BP,” it’s time it did or put itself in a position to get the right private-sector people and technology in place quickly.

What’s the latest word on Top Kill?

Day 37 PM Top Kill Underway

This latest Top Kill procedure (see diagram here) had better work, despite the 50-50 odds. Ever seen a Hindu scientist cross herself? You have now. Hey, if it helps.

The Oil Drum is hosting a live Top Kill comments thread for those who want to discuss what’s going on. (Awww, they went and made a new post with fresh comments just for me.)

Some folks are getting tired of watching the underwater video with no sound. What did you expect? Steve Irwin reporting live from the rover for 24 to 48 hours? Turn on some Berlin or the soundtrack to The Life Aquatic if this bores you. Seriously, I urge you to stick with the video as long as possible to let them know we’re watching. We’re boned as it is, but if this fails … I don’t even want to think about it.

Update: What’s this about MSNBC experts saying there’s a second major oil plume and that BP is fixing the minor plume only, while hiding the real geyser? If they kill the well, there will be no more plumes.

Day 37 Do Something

Yes, we have lost patience with this situation and are angry as hell. Yes, we wonder what the hell is wrong with America today and why its priorities are so topsy-turvy. Yes, people are stupid and contradict themselves for personal gain. Yes, I will give up cynicism for Lent if Top Kill works today. Yes, the frustration kills. Now let’s understand that these feelings, too, are luxuries that others who are hurting can’t afford and get down to the business of helping them.

* Help the fishermen of the Gulf Coast!

* First Draft | Blogs for Birds: Something We Can Do for the Gulf

Your contribution to the The International Bird Rescue Center via First Draft will help rescue oiled coastal birds, clean them and house them in a rehabilitation center. First Draft readers alone have adopted four 6.5 pelicans. I hope the readers of this blog can get us up to 10 (yes, I’m looking at you).

* Stop screaming at the federal government to push BP aside and to fix the continuing leaks. Why do you think we lease our land and waters to various oil companies to do the job on our joint behalf? In other words, the United States of America has no technology to stop the flow. We have essentially rented out our roads, for a paltry sum, to a chauffeur who made a car we haven’t the first clue how to drive, and are along for the ride. Furthermore, other companies like Shell and Chevron may have such technology but the US cannot order them to step in where BP has failed.


There are useful things our government can do. You must urge your congresspeople to:

- grant NOAA and other research institutions the necessary access to collect as much data as possible on the gusher and everything it impacts.

… researchers are expressing concerns over the limited science being done in and around affected areas … the information could help efforts to contain the effects of the disaster and, in the longer term, “ensure we have the best underlying science to guide our response to the next spill,” says Ira Leifer, a chemical engineer at the Marine Sciences Institute at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

- vote to end spill liability caps. As Jude says, “If it takes two days or two months to stop the petroleum spewing out of the sea floor, [the Gulf is] still f***ed. BP can’t stop that. The government can’t. But the government can make ‘em pay.” You can help MAKE THEM PAY until the spill is cleaned up and everything is back to the way it was. (Fifty years should do it, D adds.)

- acknowledge that the most important activity for the United States should be an engineering program similar to the Apollo Moon Project to develop alternative energy sources that are renewable and nonpolluting. Every single bit of research on alternative fuels pulls us that much farther away from our dependence on fossil fuels and the murder of our nation and planet in the process. It was innovation that helped us find coal and oil and will aid us in fueling the future. Help your kids with their science homework while you’re at it.

If you have any other ideas, please leave them in the comments’ section. No useless petitions please –  all they really accomplish is putting your email address on a spam mailing list.

Being angry, crying and then retreating to our bedrooms and computers in a depressed huff is understandable but it isn’t enough. A whole big portion of America is in real pain.

Day 35 Links

* Now watching:  SPILLCAM (mostly live)

* So, we still have major leak points, only one of which has been capped. If you use this diagram as a guide, the oil continues to emanate from 1) the BOP, 2) the location of the insertion tube and 3) a possible new leak in the damaged riser. The insertion tube is catching only about 2000 barrels per day while the jury is still out on a precise daily rate. We have it firmly pegged at more than 5000 but less than 50,000 barrels per day. Thumbs up all around! Jesus.

* NewOrleans.com | Louisiana Fishermen Contemplating Suicide

“I spoke to a group of fishermen, mainly Vietnamese Americans and a group of them came up to me and said, they told me that they contemplated suicide because they’re in such despair,” says Congressman Joseph Cao. He says fishermen are feeling compounded stress on top of post-Katrina troubles. “For some people, this is almost a boiling point where they can no longer handle it and they’re going to crack.”

GISUser | Gulf Oil Spill Poses Unprecedented Challenge to National Parks

Big Cypress National Preserve, Biscayne National Park, De Soto National Memorial, Dry Tortugas National Park, Everglades National Park, Gulf Islands National Seashore, Jean Lafitte National Historical Park and Preserve, Padre Island National Seashore …

* Did I tell you fishermen are thinking about killing themselves? It’s not a joke. Associated Press | In Alaska, Gulf Spill Brings Back Painful Memories

Crude oil from the tanker still lingers on some beaches a full 21 years later. Some marine species never recovered. Families and bank accounts were shattered. Alcoholism, suicide and domestic violence rates all rose in hard-hit towns.

… ”Don’t sit around and wait for somebody, for the justice system, for instance, to come and rescue you because in our experience, that’s not going to happen,” said [Lynden] O’Toole … ”What’s going to happen is they are going to end up exhausted,” [Alaska fisherman RJ] Kopchak added. “And eight or 10 years from now, they’re still going to be fighting this.”

* NOLA.com | Dead Wildlife Found on Beaches at Grand Isle

What you can do now: Help us at First Draft adopt oiled birds and sponsor their cleanup. Let’s “pool our resources to support the efforts of The International Bird Rescue Center in locating, rescuing, and cleaning oiled wildlife.” So far, two pelicans have joined our family – Big Chief Lambreaux (named by me) and FYYFF (VirgoTex‘s choice). You can help save many more.

* The fight has only just begun. GISUser | Gulf Oil Spill Poses Unprecedented Challenge to National Parks

Parks in the projected path of the Gulf oil spill include: Big Cypress National Preserve, Biscayne National Park, De Soto National Memorial, Dry Tortugas National Park, Everglades National Park, Gulf Islands National Seashore, Jean Lafitte National Historical Park and Preserve, Padre Island National Seashore …

Where Is The Mask That Will Never Fade

My mother and I recently watched The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button together. Towards the end of the film, with the winds and rains of Hurricane Katrina threatening to break in the windows of a New Orleans hospital room in which her old mother lies dying, Julia Ormond’s Caroline discovers that Benjamin Button was her father. As Caroline goes through birthday cards from her dad, ones she has never seen until August 29th 2005, it all becomes too much to bear. Even while growing backwards and getting younger, death waited for Benjamin Button, as it did for Caroline’s mother and thousands of New Orleanians that fateful day. Why are we given so much life and story only for it to be taken away?

She left us one year ago today. I would give anything to kiss her cheek one more time. To inhale that smell again as lips touch soft, warm skin. To watch her rail-thin hand sweep over the folds of her beautiful sari after I’ve scrunched it to kiss her. All I have left now is the honor of having known her.

No, that’s not all that remains. This does.

The Making Of Mardi Gras Day Mask 2010

My grandmother had a very full life in which she realized much. If I have a regret for her, it is that she was not costumer and set decorator to the stars. With the freedom she had, however, Patti costumed us (often with no reason – “the idea came to me”) and decorated our homes for religious functions, and did it all with little more than leftover scraps and household objects. Only she could turn the cardboard inside paper towel rolls into replicas of royal chariots and incorporate any construction item you gave her into an heirloom-quality decoration. Room dividers, diadems, spears, belts, portraits, sculptures of gods, all you had to do was ask for it and she would find a way to make it. And she loved sequins, glitter and the color green.

Each year, and I like to think living in New Orleans brought out my grandmother’s creativity in me, I make a Mardi Gras Day mask from scratch. This year’s mask, the one you see above, was dedicated to her. Patti would love for me to share with you how to make one of your own. It’s quite simple, actually.

1) MASK BASE: Purchase a Phantom of the Opera mask base or cut out the pattern from a plain plastic mask.

The Making Of Mardi Gras Day Mask 2010

2) FABRIC COVER: Glue and staple textured satin onto the mask, as shown on right. Make sure the satin is a) the same color as the glitter you will put over it and b) rough in order for the glitter to adhere to the fabric. Given that the mask has topography, you will have to cut out excess satin at the folds. In this case, I cut out material that would go under the gold cord. Use any remaining strips of satin to paste over the staples’ prongs in the back. (Then again, if you scratch up your face like that, you have a mask to put over it). Carefully drill or poke holes in the nostrils of the mask so you can breathe while wearing it (details).

3) CORDS & RIBBONS: Fasten any extra embellishments, e.g. cords, buttons, feathers, sequins, to the mask before applying the glitter. (It’s really hard to get anything to stick to glitter other than more glitter.) Also, at this time, staple on the ribbons that will secure the mask to your head. Pick points on the mask that will allow the ribbons to encircle your head and securely. Don’t worry about any ribbon showing on the front of the mask because you will apply glitter over it.

The Making Of Mardi Gras Day Mask 20104) GLUE THAT GLITTER ON: Aleene’s Tacky Glue is your friend. I own enough bottles of this gummy goodness to glue a whole big parade float together. It goes on white, but dries clear, so if you mistakenly get it all over parts of your project for which you didn’t intend it, wipe off the bulk of it and wait for the rest of it to dry. (Such things have never happened to me, of course.) With clean fan brushes of different sizes, apply glue to the fabric, one strip between cords at a time. Make the layer of glue thick enough to grab the glitter but not so thin that it catches nothing. As soon as you apply one layer of glue, tap a shaker of glitter onto the glue. Again, if you accidentally drop too much glitter on the glue, simply blow off the excess or lightly brush it onto unglittered areas. Allow it to dry for a few hours before applying the finishing touches. See picture on left for dried, glittered end product.

The Making Of Mardi Gras Day Mask 20105) ACCENTS: For this mask, I decided to add accents where the ribbons meet the mask. I bought two small wooden fleur-de-lis appliques (available at most craft stores), spray-painted them gold and attached them to the mask with velcro tape.

6) SEAL YOUR MASK: (Take the mask outside, place it on newspaper and) spray it down with glossy Clear Coat Sealant Spray. Allow it to dry for an hour or so and then spray it again. The fumes coming off the sealant can take down a full-grown Canadian elk, so I recommend keeping that mask somewhere dry and aerated until you wear it.

***

I wish Patti could have seen me in the mask on Mardi Gras Day. And the Krewe du Vieux Baron Samedi hat, which I will show you how to make later.

This life sucks for snatching away the ones we we love after giving us so much time in which to fall in love and grow closer. It is also an alarmingly beautiful thing for the relationships it fosters, the ones that make us and continue to define us from beyond. The masks and costumes sure don’t replace my grandma, but they help me feel very close to her, as I draw inspiration and comfort from wondering what fabric and colors she would have chosen. Through her artfulness, the world still gets to know my grandmother. And I get to know her more.

Day 32 Links

* READ THIS The Oil Drum | What Caused The Deepwater Horizon Disaster?

a flawed well plan that did not include enough cement between the 7-inch production casing and the 9 7/8-inch protection casing. The presumed blowout preventer (BOP) failure is an important but secondary issue.

… Based on the chronology presented above, it seems strange that so little was apparently done in the hour-and-forty minutes between the notable increase in mud pit volume and the blowout, except to stop circulating twice. At the same time, it is easy to see the warning signs now that we know the outcome, and we do not know what was done or discussed at the time–we only have recordings on a chart.

… the larger issue that a flawed, risky well plan for the MC 252 well was approved by the MMS, and BP, Anadarko and Mitsui management. Similar or identical plans were undoubtedly approved and used by many operators on other wells drilled in the Gulf of Mexico. A plan that does not include enough cement to overlap the final and previous casing strings, and that does not require running a cement-bond log to ensure the integrity of the seal [especially after a failing pressure test] is a defective plan. The fact that there have not been blowouts on previous wells does not justify the approval and use of an unsafe plan.

* Bloomberg | BP Cap Waiver May Be Moot in Light of Possible Lapses Don’t hold your breath. See also:
Conflict of Interest in BP Legal Fight?

* Pictures and maps from the Lousiana Governor’s Office of Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness

* Stinque | “Preventable industrial catastrophes are just God’s way of making life more interesting.”

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What are your opinions on the Kerry-Lieberman Climate Bill? I live in an area where people either love it or hate it (adopt the bill and America is doomed to thermonuclear annihilation; don’t adopt the bill and America is doomed to thermonuclear annihilation). I’d like to see a real, readable risk-benefit analysis.