Monthly Archives: May 2005

Not Your Mama’s Audio Tour

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A visit to a museum, any museum, is a pilgrimage for me — it is time to commune with the greater fabric of existence not easily viewable in the everyday, mundane and often too literal. There, in space and time, you and the massage of a medium coexist with few distractions. What a prayer. What a relief. Never once have I strapped on an audio-guide contraption to convey me through the art-decked halls as if I were making my way through dance steps drawn on the floor. Art tells me its own story and I seldom care about its context; that you can glean from an art history book. Besides, the inner Monk would compel me to spend hours disinfecting my ears after donning the funk of god-knows-who. (I have severe problems with hospital waiting-room magazines; just the sight of them causes me to retch. Strange pathology, but it is mine).

My iPod is going to journey with me to NYC in less than two weeks, but now it may have more purpose than offering me musical solace in the CNN- and cellphone chatter-filled concourses of the American airport. In With Irreverence and an iPod, Recreating the Museum Tour, the NYTimes sheds light on a replacement for the authority-sanctioned audio tour offered at New York’s and, I hope, more of the nation’s art museums. “Hacking the gallery experience” through podcasting offers an alternative with the help of your own iPod. Even if you’re not a tour lover, this is a great way to get children and adults excited about art, and rekindle the passion for others who are more familiar with these museums. All in the form of the funny, the risqué and, most importantly, the interchangeable.

At Marymount [Manhattan College], on the Upper East Side, Dr. [David] Gilbert said he was partly inspired to create the unofficial guides after listening to the museum’s audio tours for children, which he found much more entertaining and engaging than the new ones recently introduced for grown-ups.

But Dr. Gilbert said his larger point was to try to teach his students to stop being passive information consumers – whether through television, radio or an official audio guide – and to take more control …

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The Ditto Society

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Interesting fact from the Project Gutenberg Weekly Newsletter (ok, so the website hasn’t been updated since March; sue us. Get on the mailing list!):

The media continue to be gobbled up by “Merger Mania.”

Ever wonder why so much of North American media content looks as if it were all written by clones?

There are ~1,800 newspapers, ~11,000 magazines, ~11,000 radio stations, ~2,000 TV stations and ~3,000+ book publishers in the United States.

Companies owning a controlling interest in the major players:

50 in 1984
26 in 1987
10 in 1996
6 in 2002

Today about 90% of the media voices have been silenced by takeovers, just compared to the number we had 20 years ago.

Source: NOW with Bill Moyers. Politics & Economy. Massive Media | PBS

There are seven major players, if you count Bertelsmann, which has lately been into American acquisitions.

In this age of the internet, how hard can it be for the average news-absorbing American citizen to get an outside perspective? The question is: Does he/she want to?

Meet Me At The Corner Of America’s Choice And Dr. Thunder

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Fox News reports on a new dating service brought to you courtesy of WalMart. No, this isn’t a story about America’s favorite cement block and Neil Cavuto in bed with one another; that’s so 5 minutes ago.

Wal-Mart stores are hosting weekly singles nights, where shoppers looking for romance tie a red ribbon to their carts as they browse for laundry detergent, lip balm and, yes, love.

Can you believe that the idea for “WalMart singles night” was birthed by the company’s German executives? It seems Home Depot is quite the swinging hot spot, too. Before you begin entertaining visions of 2 for 1 pre-made margarita nights, getting jiggy in the Frozen Foods section and hot mommas dancing in the bargain bins, get a load of the setup:

Greeters at the entrance [offer] singles a large red bow (or a smaller one for shyer shoppers) to put on their carts to advertise their availability. Bachelors and bachelorettes then go to “flirt points” around the store, in which a Wal-Mart associate or a supplier has a set-up station with singles-oriented products, like prepackaged meals. Singles sample the items — and find an excuse to approach a possible Mr. or Miss Right.

“Oh, honey, do you remember our first date and how the perfect combination of Nabisco and Dow products made it so special? I still remember kissing you with microwaved mini-weiner and Grapette soda breath! Teehee!”

Flirt points?! Who’s this for – Mary Kate and Ashley wannabes? This is just one more reason for me not to shop at WalMart, but the Grapette has spilled over to Home Depot, my favorite place to get a Maitri “Tool Time” V-R fix. I may not be the biggest advocate of meeting your future spouse at a bar either, but this is ludicrous. Shopping dates? These people are going to try and find love while deciding which brand of detergent is cheaper by the gallon? WalMart and Home Depot as the local pickup joints?

Face it, I hear you cracking up.

Illinois Library To Use Fingerprints

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Public libraries in the Illinois suburb of Naperville will require a fingerprint scan before a patron may use a computer terminal. The message: No unauthorized users. Who could possibly be forbidden in a public library? Why, people who don’t have Stamps Of Approval emblazoned on their heads, of course.

Library officials said they wanted to tighten computer access because many people borrow library cards and pass codes from friends or family to log on. The technology also will help the library implement a new policy that allows parents to put filters on their children’s’ accounts, officials said.

As predicted, the ACLU jumped into action at the smell of stored fingerprints and the threat of a breach of citizen privacy.

While the library insists the fingerprint data will be kept confidential, [Ed] Yohnka, [IL ACLU spokesperson] warns the technology will create a database of personal information that could be used in unintended ways.

Naperville library spokespeople argue that the fingerprint is more unique a barcode than that of a library card. Also, according to them, “the technology cannot be used to reconstruct a person’s actual fingerprint.”

The furor over fingerprints and privacy aside, why is there no equivalent anger over the barrier to information access? Personally, I don’t understand the necessity of such “clamping down” in a venue as free and sharing-friendly as a public library. So what if people share their library cards with friends and family? Heavens, we simply cannot have unauthorized reading, can we?

This is not akin to loaning an ID card to someone who wishes to make an illegal liquor purchase; the end desire here is to have access to as much information as possible. As for the protection of children, here’s a solution: set aside a special section for kids’ computing, sanitize those machines and maintain the bastion of free access to information that a library should be, fingerprints and authorization be damned. Use the barcodes for books exiting the library.

There is already so much that we can’t do in modern society. Leave the public library alone.

Kuwait: Progress With A Caveat

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VatulBlog proudly announces that Kuwait Approves Women’s Political Rights.

An admirable 35-23 vote gave Kuwaiti women the right to vote and stand in parliamentary elections. No parade is memorable without some rain; traditional archconservatives successfully tacked on a caveat to the law which requires the newly-empowered women to adhere to Islamic law.

What an ambiguous statement. Ix-nay on the champagne at campaign headquarters? No rock music on the tour bus? Holding hands at voter registration verboten?

[Rola] Dashti, a U.S.-educated economist, said the clause probably meant separate polling stations and not an imposition of a strict Islamic dress code.

Ms. Dashti will run for parliament in the 2007 election.

As objectionable as a lot of women find the “abide” clause, I think it is nothing but grandstanding by Kuwait’s patriarchy – the last menacing growl of an old lion that knows his time has come. A few honestly fear the loss of traditional ways at the hands of a younger and more progressive generation, but this is the way of old and new.

Three cheers for the women of Kuwait – Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!

Postcards From The Edge

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An exam you cheated on. A secret and unrequited love. Lies you tell people to appear as something you’re not. An undisclosable joy. A disguised fear. What untold truths lurk in the dark recesses of your being?

Sri points me to PostSecret, a blog that “collects secrets written in by postcard by people who mostly wish to be anonymous.” As a serious people-watcher, I was clasped by the intensity of these entries, even ones as ho-hum as “I still love her.” Such a feeling may be commonplace, but it defines the emotional core of one person somewhere out there. So it continues … under our socially-sculpted exteriors, we are grotesquely beautiful creatures, capable of the infinitely great, sorrowful and strange.

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This is a chance to tell the whole world your most priveleged knowledge and never really reveal it to … anyone.

Spoof Wars

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No critical treatment of the Star Wars universe is complete without the comedic genius of Hardware Wars. Alongside Apocalypse Pooh and Unbakeable, this parody of our favorite SW characters (only Episode IV need apply) features such endearing hilarities as Fluke Starbucker, Oggie Ben Doggie, Ham Salad, Princess Anne-Droid and my personal favorites, Artie Deco, 4Q2 and the Wookie Monster (HA!).

With an $8,000 budget … “Hardware Wars” was shot in four days in bars, beaches and garages around the San Francisco Bay Area. Surprisingly, production was started only a short time after “Star Wars” was released. Although single-screen theaters across the country had lines wrapping around the block to see the science-fiction spectacular, nobody [in the cast] was aware that they were poking fun at what would soon become an enduring cultural icon.

Did I mention that Darth Vader’s role was worked over into America’s own consumer rights icon, Ralph Nader? Brilliant.

The short did not escape the attention of Emperor Lucas, who detected that the Force was strong in this one, and attracted it to the dark side of Cable TV.

Over the years the usually litigious Lucas has actually expressed his enjoyment of “Hardware Wars,” calling it a “cute little film.” It’s the only non-Lucasfilm product to be sold in Star Wars Insider magazine. The short enjoys the same semi-endorsed status as the subsequent subgenre of homemade “fan films” to which Lucas has recently given the nod, even hosting a Sci-Fi Channel special about them.

While on the topic of Star Wars sendups, here is New Orleans’ contribution to the same.

Some choice quotes:

[Yoda] is still one mean green fighting machine, but the “Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith” nonsense has been left behind.

Padme’s announcement that she is pregnant causes Anakin a series of nightmares.

Someone really ought to investigate the health risks of dabbling in the dark side of the Force. It seems to cause emphysema and premature aging.

“Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith” – now there’s one parody that hasn’t been made.

Star Wars Essential Mix

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How did playing kickball against Tulane Law land me with a sore throat, mild fever and the feeling that someone just ran me over with a truck outfitted with new suspension? Close proximity to the cootie-ridden bastards, their final exams and stress-induced low immunities. That’ll learn me.

Is this going to keep me from missing the Revenge of the Sith this weekend? Holy lightsabers, no! Duuuuude, I want to see THIS in action:

EVIL EVIL EVIL!
General Grievous – What a lame name for such a righteous-looking character. Ok, Darth Maul wasn’t any better.

The inner doctor has recommended a concoction of Tom Middleton’s Special Star-Wars Themed Essential Mix.

What. A. Trip.

BLOGDOGGLES!!!

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This is my first post using WordPress. Blogger has its place in the interworld, but I can’t handle not being able to organize my posts into categories and, more importantly, muck with the publishing code myself. Enter WordPress. Just another example of Maitri’s obsessive-compulsive nature and penchant for getting into trouble.

YES THIS IS ANOTHER PROJECT BECAUSE I JUST DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO WITH MY TIME — OH LOOK I AM LATE FOR YET ANOTHER APPOINTMENT.

Vatula Maharishi, patron saint of distraction and my oldest traceable ancestor, would be SO proud.

In an hour of battling servers, filetypes and the more difficult/banal Blogger, I’ve managed to usher all of my posts into WordPressLand. My Blogger and Haloscan comments didn’t enjoy such a smooth exodus, however. In fact, they didn’t as much as step a foot out of their cells in Mordor … err … Chateau Blogger. What a pleasure it will be to put on my graduate-school coding hat and figure out what in ‘tarnation is wrong with my importinator.

VH1 MegaHits re-re-re-replay of “Jerk It Out” is not helping.

UPDATE: The Blogger comments made it over using the crack Skeltoac hack. Unfortunately, so far, only one set of comments (Blogger or Haloscan) can be imported at a time, or your posts will be overwritten. Once I digest enough PHP to import posts along with Blogger and Haloscan comments, I’ll post it here. Promise.