Comments for Maitri's VatulBlog http://vatul.net/blog From Kuwait To Katrina And Beyond Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:17:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Superior Good Parenting by Michael http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6555/comment-page-1#comment-481165 Michael Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:17:17 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6555#comment-481165 Thanks for the heads-up on this article and the personal anecdotes. I can relate to all of them. To your advice I would add just this. As a parent, don't be duplicitous. Children of any age can spot a liar (even if it is just about sneaking a piece of chocolate), and will learn sooner than you think, to mimic that behavior as well. Second, there is no such thing as "quality time". It is all about being around in huge blocks of time until a certain age: modeling, challenging, protecting, teaching, disciplining. I also believe that parents need to "pray" their fears. It is when we are afraid for our children that we make our biggest mistakes in caring for them: we say and do stupid, and often very harmful things. When we have peace without fear we are better able to understand the myriad situations and provide the nurture they need. Thanks for the heads-up on this article and the personal anecdotes. I can relate to all of them. To your advice I would add just this. As a parent, don’t be duplicitous. Children of any age can spot a liar (even if it is just about sneaking a piece of chocolate), and will learn sooner than you think, to mimic that behavior as well. Second, there is no such thing as “quality time”. It is all about being around in huge blocks of time until a certain age: modeling, challenging, protecting, teaching, disciplining. I also believe that parents need to “pray” their fears. It is when we are afraid for our children that we make our biggest mistakes in caring for them: we say and do stupid, and often very harmful things. When we have peace without fear we are better able to understand the myriad situations and provide the nurture they need.

]]> Comment on Superior Good Parenting by Maitri http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6555/comment-page-1#comment-480735 Maitri Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:20:57 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6555#comment-480735 Aaah, Brimmy, stop reading my mind. You're absolutely right. What I wanted to add after stating that teaching kids they are not center of the universe is a critical life lesson is, "Kids are the most self-centered little turds on the planet. But this is their biological imperative, a survival mechanism. That a number of these kids turn into petulant, self-absorbed adults means they never grew up and that may be a sign of bad parenting." Aaah, Brimmy, stop reading my mind. You’re absolutely right. What I wanted to add after stating that teaching kids they are not center of the universe is a critical life lesson is, “Kids are the most self-centered little turds on the planet. But this is their biological imperative, a survival mechanism. That a number of these kids turn into petulant, self-absorbed adults means they never grew up and that may be a sign of bad parenting.”

]]> Comment on Superior Good Parenting by brimful http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6555/comment-page-1#comment-480733 brimful Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:54:53 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6555#comment-480733 Okay- all kidding aside, there is an actual observation I want to add. When I went to Europe, and when around a friend who is from Eastern Europe, I saw a key distinction with how parents interact with their children vs how I see parents interact here. Children are being increasingly raised with the sense that they are the center of the universe. That is not a joke in any way. Parents go so overboard to make sure their kids have all of the best, and that their needs supersede everyone else's. It's not just discipline- it's this mentality. I think you and I were probably both raised in a household where it was evident early on that you were part of a family, not the star/lead. I get that you should want your children to have more than you may have had, but it's taken to extremes now. If you think about it, babies are the most purely selfish beings on earth, and why shouldn't they be? But then it falls to a parent to teach a child that they are NOT the alpha in every situation. I get the sense that this lesson is starting to get lost. Okay- all kidding aside, there is an actual observation I want to add. When I went to Europe, and when around a friend who is from Eastern Europe, I saw a key distinction with how parents interact with their children vs how I see parents interact here. Children are being increasingly raised with the sense that they are the center of the universe. That is not a joke in any way. Parents go so overboard to make sure their kids have all of the best, and that their needs supersede everyone else’s. It’s not just discipline- it’s this mentality. I think you and I were probably both raised in a household where it was evident early on that you were part of a family, not the star/lead. I get that you should want your children to have more than you may have had, but it’s taken to extremes now.

If you think about it, babies are the most purely selfish beings on earth, and why shouldn’t they be? But then it falls to a parent to teach a child that they are NOT the alpha in every situation. I get the sense that this lesson is starting to get lost.

]]> Comment on Superior Good Parenting by brimful http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6555/comment-page-1#comment-480732 brimful Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:46:01 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6555#comment-480732 I don't mean to go all auntie on you, but this post makes me want to auntie you to death about having kids, because we need more little tots running around with parents like YOU! :) I don’t mean to go all auntie on you, but this post makes me want to auntie you to death about having kids, because we need more little tots running around with parents like YOU! :)

]]> Comment on by Blair http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6553/comment-page-1#comment-480081 Blair Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:47:04 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6553#comment-480081 Too bad Jimmy couldn't predict the devastating Kenosha earthquake. Too bad Jimmy couldn’t predict the devastating Kenosha earthquake.

]]> Comment on All-Asian-American Rejects by Maitri http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6516/comment-page-1#comment-478621 Maitri Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:11:09 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6516#comment-478621 Forget <i>what</i> he said for it is simply context. Look beyond it to the pure tiresomeness of being othered. I am not offended; my time is simply wasted. Forget what he said for it is simply context. Look beyond it to the pure tiresomeness of being othered. I am not offended; my time is simply wasted.

]]> Comment on All-Asian-American Rejects by @marginfades http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6516/comment-page-1#comment-478299 @marginfades Fri, 13 Jan 2012 23:07:25 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6516#comment-478299 ...he said WHAT? …he said WHAT?

]]> Comment on Because It’s Carnival Time by Anita http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6530/comment-page-1#comment-477468 Anita Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:17:52 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6530#comment-477468 Happy Carnival, Maitri! Once again, here at home, it's Allison Big Chief Tootie Montana Day, by resolution passed in City Council once again, and tonight, quite close to my house, the streetcar rolls out of the barn with the Phunny Phorty Phellows heralding the season. Good times. Happy Carnival, Maitri! Once again, here at home, it’s Allison Big Chief Tootie Montana Day, by resolution passed in City Council once again, and tonight, quite close to my house, the streetcar rolls out of the barn with the Phunny Phorty Phellows heralding the season. Good times.

]]> Comment on Lowe’s Knows – Updated by Mark Folse http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6481/comment-page-1#comment-475771 Mark Folse Mon, 26 Dec 2011 19:15:56 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6481#comment-475771 I'm so far behind in blog reading I'm just getting to this. It's sad I plan to return my cable box tomorrow and go to over the air digital and so won't get to see this unless it ends up on Netflix on demand some day but if I'm going back to school on a limited severance-funded budget then cable has to go. (I otherwise don't watch it and mostly got it for my son's visit and he doesnt' watch it. Tonight is the last ESPN game of this season, then it all goes back in the box. I hope that the Neilson numbers leave all these advertisers kicking themselves. I’m so far behind in blog reading I’m just getting to this. It’s sad I plan to return my cable box tomorrow and go to over the air digital and so won’t get to see this unless it ends up on Netflix on demand some day but if I’m going back to school on a limited severance-funded budget then cable has to go. (I otherwise don’t watch it and mostly got it for my son’s visit and he doesnt’ watch it. Tonight is the last ESPN game of this season, then it all goes back in the box. I hope that the Neilson numbers leave all these advertisers kicking themselves.

]]> Comment on All-Asian-American Rejects by liprap http://vatul.net/blog/index.php/6516/comment-page-1#comment-475127 liprap Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:26:01 +0000 http://vatul.net/blog/?p=6516#comment-475127 Reminds me of the PhD at a seminar my dad attended in Europe who, on hearing he was Jewish, asked him if the blood libel was true. Yeah, come over here lady, you'll be this year's victim. "Just an Oriental," my tuchus. It's a sorry excuse to not get to know you is what it is. Reminds me of the PhD at a seminar my dad attended in Europe who, on hearing he was Jewish, asked him if the blood libel was true. Yeah, come over here lady, you’ll be this year’s victim.

“Just an Oriental,” my tuchus. It’s a sorry excuse to not get to know you is what it is.

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