They truly stink.

What really pisses me off about the new rules is that every time a network talks about them, they show Brett Favre Losing To The Saints footage the entire time. What is the viewer supposed to take away from that? The thinly-veiled assumption that changing the rules is justified because he should have rightfully won or some fraking thing. Thirteen plus times on his butt in that game, but the OT killed him. Call the waaambulance.

The Vikings are one of the four teams to vote against the new OT rules, but that doesn’t change what the powers that be at the NFL think is an appropriate win. Hey, I’m sorry you lost all that money in Vegas betting on the wrong team, but this is not the way or time to change the rules.

Here we are, in our full costumed regalia. D wanted to walk in comfort and warmth while ripping on the NFL and I was going for a Saint / winged-football-goddess sort of look.  Not many notice that the mask represents a football field with yard lines.  Yes, I am a dork.

It doesn’t look too shabby in the picture above, but I wasn’t pleased with the quality of my costume this year for a number of reasons:

a) Notice severe lack of headdress.  Thanks to bad weather all across America over the weekend and the classic incompetence of Delta Airlines gate agents, I didn’t reach New Orleans halfway into Sunday.  Therefore and alas, between abuse taken during repeated trips to the airport and the fact that the sealant fumes still coming off it would have rendered our entire airplane unconscious, my headdress had to be left behind.  An almost-seizure-inducing hour on the phone yesterday with Delta corporate customer service got me a $100 voucher good towards the purchase of a future flight.  Woo to the hoo.

b) Too tired on Tuesday morning to do anything more glam with hair. Boo!

c) The wings didn’t make it past the car.  Yes, I forgot to put them on once we reached our destination, leaving me prey to an endless string of tourists asking, “What are you supposed to be?  An Indian?”  D and I wanted to say, “Yeah, Mardi Gras Indian!”  But, we didn’t think they would understand.

d) Costume 2010 would have been decidedly more spectacular had I not been forced to wear a whole sweatsuit under it.  Damned cold.  Actually, damned fluctuating temperatures, which made poor Loki so ill he had to go to the doctor on Mardi Gras Day instead of leading the annual Krewe of Chartreuse walk.  Ick.

We caught some of the Zulu parade, walked into the Quarter, ate chili cheese tots at the Three Legged Dog and ended up at home away from home, i.e. Fahy’s.  As usual, our evening ended early.  To quote Editor B: “Mardi Gras is primarily an early morning holiday, at least to me. It’s kind of like Christmas in that way. This is contrary to the image many casual tourists might have in mind, due to the common association linking revelry with late nights. But I rarely stay out late on Mardi Gras, and for me the best part of the day is generally before noon.”

The rest of the pictures are in the Mardi Gras 2010 photo gallery.  Happy Lent!

It can be confusing to some how the win of a football team can somehow be tied to the rebuilding of a devastated city. But if you lived here you’d feel it. Athletes often talk of ‘momentum’, and Nola has definitely been experiencing it since Katrina. There is a drive and energy here that simply defies. For being a culture preoccupied with pleasure, I didn’t realize how passionately the people here would go to war over defending their right to it. I guess we’re more like our French fathers after all.

The following video was taken on the street on which D and I used to live.  Each time I watch it, I am so deeply happy for everyone crying, laughing, drinking, jumping and dancing, and want to hug all of them.  The Packer Nation, known for the unfettered dedication of its fans in good times and in bad, salutes the WhoDat Nation.  You deserve it all.

I cannot begin to tell you how majorly bummed I was at not being at Fahy’s with D and my friends to watch and celebrate victory and history in the making.  Kudos to my family, however, for screaming loudly in support of the Saints and agreeing with me that I should have been in New Orleans.  Friends who don’t stay up late and rarely party made their way to the French Quarter at 11PM; folks I thought didn’t have my phone number called or texted into the wee hours of the morning.  Loki, Alexis and I should have been there.  We should also be there today, on Lombardi Gras a.k.a. Dat Tuesday, for the parade about to happen in downtown New Orleans to honor the Saints.  Thankfully, my husband is in New Orleans armed with a camera (and a death threat should he fail to get good pictures).

Keep the party hot for me, y’all.  I will be there on Friday and you know it’s gonna be a good time.

Sat up in bed early this morning, a Sunday morning, knowing this would happen. Changed into my Ashley shirt at halftime.  I knew they’d win, but didn’t know how or by how many points.  Three good dead-on Hartley field goals.  Then, the Tracy Porter interception and runback.  I have never been more certain of victory.

At this moment in time and history, I sit shaking in utter disbelief.  But why?  I knew all along.  Still, like Cade, I took the above picture and am posting it here, so that when I look at this blog tomorrow, I will know it’s not just a dream.  Thank you, Drew Brees.  We deserve this, New Orleans.  You deserve this, lifelong Saints fans.  A team that plays with so much heart had to have destiny on their side.

WHO DAT! WHO DAT! WHO DAT SAY DEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS?  NO ONE.

This win is for you, Professor Morris. Each time the Saints faltered, I touched the big fleur de lis on my shirt and said, “Come on, Ashley, give them a nudge.”  You came through.  You are our twelfth saint.  As an offering, I will make absolutely sure your friend and mine, Loki, is dressed as a Saintsation on Super Sunday and, if he reneges, drive down to Cincinnati and accost him with a wig and a tube of lipstick.

I’m screaming for you and New Orleanians everywhere, big man. So loud and often and hours later that I am hoarse.  Trust me, when an avid football fan screams in Ohio farmland, she does make a sound.

Chicago Tribune | Super Bowl Matchup: New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts: A young kicker named Garrett Hartley is the most valuable person in New Orleans right now.  His kick sent the Saints to the Superbowl.  The Saints defense worked their butts off as well – according to my stats team (that would be D and @NOLADishu), the official #FavreOnTheGround count stands at 12.  To count, his ass had to make full contact with the turf and his eyes with the Superdome’s ceiling.  Pierre Thomas, Devery Henderson and Jonathan Vilma, good work.

The real credit for beating the Vikings, however, goes to Favre himself.  As a fiercely loyal Green Bay Packers fan and former Favre fangirl who suffered many a loss with him at my team’s helm, let me assure you that #4 did today what he does best in the post-season: throw grounders and interceptions at crunch time.  This game nicely encapsulated his career to date.  So, just you go ahead, sports media, and wipe, powder and kiss the Packers Jets Vikings Oh Who Knows Probably The Bears This Year quarterback’s tush before, during and after his LOSS.  There’s probably a special place in Hall of Fame Heaven reserved for your story of Aging Superhuman Reviled By Many.  Hell, it probably makes your ancient behinds feel good, too.  But don’t you ever insult your viewers and pretend you didn’t anticipate his loss.  And don’t you ever ignore a team and its quarterback through the entirety of a championship game only to wear its beads, talk of its city, sing its songs and praises (but not really) and party in its streets after it wins.  For marginalizing this New Orleans Saints team even when it wins, you’re on notice.  Especially you, Joe Buck.

Then again, I smile knowing that Jon Gruden cries himself to sleep tonight with an 8×10 glossy signed “Hugs & Kisses, Brett” on his bedside table.

NYTimes | Did The Officials Bungle The Game For The Vikings? Let’s not even talk about the reffing tonight.  I have no embolisms left.  If anything, the refs tried really hard to give the game to Jesus Brett, but the Saints prevailed.  So, so, so proud of Drew Brees and his great team.

New Orleans, you fill my heart and soul tonight.  I wish I could be there to celebrate with you Right Now, but it will have to wait until Thursday night when D and I arrive to walk in Krewe du Vieux once again.  Our theme this year is All Fired Up.  Now I wonder why we bothered making costumes when each one of us is going to combust between now and then.

Watch out, Miami, THE SAINTS ARE COMING!

Ultimately, whatever team won yesterday was destined to get spanked in New Orleans next week, so now I can root for the Saints without reservation. Before I allow the second line, replete with king cake, sazeracs and brass bands, to start at VatulNet World HQ, however, some things need to go on the record.

1. Saints, buy yourself a couple of referees this week.

2. No, really, the cheaters will hit your helmet and grab your facemask.

3. Need I say more?

4. What do you think my answer was?

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the sound you’ve all been waiting for: GEAUX SAINTS!!!

Lambeau Field, Green Bay, Wisconsin

Lists it is, then.  Best of decade (never mind that the new decade technically does not start until January 1, 2011) and best of year lists.  Ranking things is not my cup of tea; all of my top five movies rate about the same.  But what motivates others’ sort algorithms and makes their #1? Let’s see.  As always, please add to the discussion and feel free to list your favorite lists in the Comments section.

TECHNOLOGY – Since my Precious iPhone has not been more than arm’s length away at any given moment this year, to the point that my husband thinks I need to “tweetox,” it seems only fitting to start with Wired’s 20 Favorite iPhone Apps of 2009.  Productivity is king, followed by games, travel and hobbies.  Am I supposed to be embarrassed that I’ve downloaded only 2 of the 20 – Runkeeper and RedLaser – or proud to have gone this long without spending money on some of these not-free apps? $5 for Instapaper when I can simply Safari over to reader.google.com?!  I think not.  What are some of your favorite apps and why?

MORE TECHNOLOGY – The Real-Time Web is all that excites me in this list of 2009′s disruptive technology. Augmented Reality has potential but, in my opinion, isn’t ubiquitous enough to have made a difference yet.  Google Voice and Wave haven’t shown me their value this year, either.  What do you think? PC World’s list of the 10 disruptors of the last quarter century rings truer even today – I highly recommend this read.

MOVIES and technology – Roger Ebert is a rockstar.  Here’s a man who can find a great movie in a stinking haystack, commit to his picks and explain patiently to you why.  Ebert’s on Twitter, where he points us to all four of his Best Films of 2009 lists.

Aside from watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Matrix trilogy, Harry Potter saga and a handful of pop and arthouse films in the theatre this decade, I have to admit that D and I are not the best cinema-goers, preferring to watch DVDs in the comfort of our home (Netflix – now there’s a decadal gamechanger mentioned little), and even that has fallen by the wayside.  But along comes streaming video, the Creative Commons (also one of the best concepts given form in the 2000s) and the notion of simply putting your art out there, the studios be damned, and you get beautiful genius like Nina Paley’s Sita Sings The Blues, which has been around a lot longer than you think.  Whether a movie has live actors or animated ones, the most important thing about it is the story.  To paraphrase my dear, departed 3D Arts professor, George Cramer, all the visual effects dreamt of in Hollywood cannot polish a turd of a story.  This is why I am not likely to watch Avatar and recommend Monsters, Inc. instead.  Excellent story + well-animated fur = WIN.

MUSIC and technology – NPR’s The Decade’s 50 Most Important Recordings Between YouTube and downloadable MP3s, my music collection grew and grew up in leaps and bounds this decade.  Ignoring the current obsession with emo-hipster bands, pop divas and American Idol ingenues, there was some real good stuff: Radiohead’s Kid A and self-released In Rainbows, Kanye West’s College Dropout, Madeleine Peyroux’s Careless Love, The Flaming Lips’ Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, The New Orleans Bingo! Show’s For A Life Ever Bright, Neko Case’s Fox Confessor Brings The Flood, Sasha’s Airdrawndagger, DJ Krush’s Jaku and OutKast’s Stankonia.  Coolest music videos of the decade: Ok Go’s On Treadmills, Clint Maedgen’s It’s A Complicated Life and Empire Of The Sun’s We Are The People.  Alright, folks, tell me what I missed and why.

BOOKS and technology – Forget the Kindle and nook.  And forget those who tell you this carefully-planned obsolescence is going to change the nature of reading.  Find a light laptop and/or smartphone you’re comfortable with, do actual work with it and download books to it.  A book is not an exotic bird to be placed in the gilded cage of DRM, but something to be owned, shared and, most importantly, read many times on any platform.  I’m against the iTunes model of book consumption – fit the media to the unique delivery mechanism – and publishing companies’ constant war on the public domain.  Hooray for copyfight and folks like Cory Doctorow who have the balls to self-publish quality literature.  True defenders of freedom will enjoy and be inspired by his Little Brother.

The Times Online’s 100 Best Books of the Decade. If you’re going to read only one of them, make it Junot Diaz’s The Brief, Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao.  What a book.  A Dungeons&Dragons-playing Dominican-American college student, the gut-punching dialogue and relationships, the history, the profanity oh the succulent profanity, the future.  What a book.  Your best read?

SPORTS – An NFL junkie, my most important moment in sports was the New Orleans Saints’ 2006 return to the Superdome after the Flood and Tom Benson’s near treachery.  Granted, it contained no triumph of athleticism, but you’d think it rates (sorry, brimmy, but the Patriots-Brady-NFL-ESPN lovefest is getting old).  Again, is there another such moment in the 00s that I should be aware of?  Please comment away.  Lastly, for the record, I am very pleased with my quarterback and Athenae‘s imaginary boyfriend, Aaron Rodgers.  His stats this season show that the team made the right decision and everyone else should shut it.

TELEVISION – When Babylon 5 ended in 1998, I despaired.  This is why God invented Deadwood, Battlestar Galactica, The Wire, Rescue Me and Futurama.  After Lando Calrissian and Kosh, the outstretched arms and biting sarcasm of Bender and Tommy Gavin beckoned. After Katrina and the Flood, the confused innards of Al Swearengen’s Deadwood, Adama and Starbuck made all too much sense.  The Onion AV Club’s Best TV Series Of The 00′s nails it.

LIST TO IGNORE – Ten Stories that Changed Our Lives This Decade: #10 Katrina. #9 Brett Favre.  Delete.  Any list that places Favre, whose family was very much affected by the hurricane, over the suffering of people goes right out the window.

THE WEIRD AND CHEESEHEADY, ‘cuz that’s how we roll – 2009 in Review: Top Weird Stories From Wisconsin: “A 37-year-old Fond du Lac man went to a motel room for what he thought was going to be a romantic tryst but instead was assaulted by four women who used Krazy Glue to attach his privates to his stomach. Police say it was all part of a bizarre plot to punish him for a lover’s quadrangle gone bad.”  Hey, we gave you Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer. Enough said.

ROUNDUP – I’m a sucker for New York Times graphics.  Philip Niemeyer pictures the past 10 years in a neat little 12×10 matrix.  The word “truthiness” gained popularity around the same time as Katrina/Federal Flood (they used a flood graphic and not a counterclockwise spinny one, phew).  2008′s maverick was Ron Paul and not John McCain – can’t keep pulling out the same old shtick every four years.  I often wonder what happened to 2008′s ardent house flippers.  Hmmm, Brownie was a Bushie term of endearment in 2004 but “tsunami” wasn’t big until 2006?  I really like the evolution of key nouns and verbs across the decade.  Would you have done this graphic differently?

Thus, 2009 comes to an end.  The ox gives way to the tiger.  Here’s wishing all of you a safe rest of the year and a great 2010 filled with pleasant surprises and many new buzzwords to learn.  Peace.

"I'm going to retire, no I'm not, yes I am, Oh I just don't know what I want and then that big burly Chicago linebacker hit me so hard I broke a nail so I said that's enough already and anyway what's a girl to do, those guys play too rough for me. I gotta go now bye bye. Your BFF Sissy."

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