He was one of my favorites.
Gleefully satirical Portland cartoonist John Callahan dies
P.S. Hate Mail from America #9
P.P.S. If you have a digital copy of Callahan’s “Immaculate Foreplay” strip, please send it along.
The Lone SysAdmin, his lovely new fiancee, D and I were lounging in my living room last weekend.
When I stumbled on a laptop and the realization that there were at least two computers per nerd in the room, not counting smartphones.
It was, of course, the perfect opportunity for another episode of Interpretive Dance And Classic Cinema Reenactments With Inanimate Objects.
***
The opening strains of Also Sprach Zarathustra are heard in the background. At the end of the song there is general merriment. The narrator steps forward.
"Behold, a herd of wild Dells! How they graze whilst showing off their iconic plumage."
"How they have gained self-recognition and hold hands and sing."
The lights suddenly dim. And then the Lone SA drops his new iPad right in the middle of the circle saying, “Bam, now the lowly primates have something to worship.”
"What is this foreboding and mysterious monolith?"
Things begin to get ugly. The mood is tenser than a moose’s butt in fly season. Hurtful epithets are thrown. The iPad is physically removed before the Dells move in and someone loses an app.
Peace and love (and my coffee table) are restored to the living room floor. The end.
Haha, made you look. (Not that there aren’t going to be scads of them out there come Halloween and Mardi Gras. I predict a lot of Bjork-like dead pelicans and “blackened” seafood.)
Which I used on the large prickly weeds last evening because I was so sick of having to dig the replicating f**kers out every single day and almost hosed my foot down with the stuff and worried that my kids will be born with their livers outside their bodies and …
Anyway, on with the links.
Earth Magazine | Geologists to be charged for not predicting earthquake? Italy, slow on the science uptake since the early 17th century.
BP To Create $20 Billion Fund For Claims On Day 59 of the still-gushing oil volcano, how can this, a partial repayment by a private company to the United States for the horrible damage wreaked on the Gulf Coast’s waters, land, people, jobs and pysche, in any way be referred to as a “bailout” or “redistribution of wealth?” How in the world is Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) “ashamed” of granting the money to victims? I thought one of the most basic tenets of capitalism is You Break It, You Bought It. As Stinque says, “Anyone responsible, civilly or criminally, should be bankrupted and banished from polite society.”
“The Douche Doesn’t Fall Far From The Bag” The starred comments on this Gawker post about Griffith Rutherford Harsh V, son of Meg Whitman and Exhibit A for supporters of the estate tax, are comedy gold.
Heehaw Marketing | The Cultural Tour Bus “Even with a Budweiser sized budget, it’s just not possible to immerse a team in someone else’s world enough. A single insight doesn’t really give us much understanding at all. And really, with the surface level nonsense most are doing, we’re usually just pecking at observational scraps rather than reaching for some perceptive nirvana.” The article references an interview with David Simon about the Average Reader.
McSweeney | I’m Comic Sans, A**hole “We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun.”
“You guys are probably responsible for this. You provided these styrofoam cups knowing they were unstable.”
Sandusky Register | Crapshoot results in stinky day for bomb squad
Officers found a fizzing homemade bomb planted in a portable toilet near a construction site at Turtle Bay and decided the safest way to detonate it was to shoot at it.
After five shots with a .22 caliber rifle, the bomb exploded, spraying the contents of the toilet everywhere. One of the bomb squad members was covered in feces, according to the police report.
*Blink blink* I don’t know whether to laugh or to ask for my taxes back. Now that we have the poop news out of the way, on to more important things like
Banning The Creation Of Human-Animal Hybrids
“The Ohio Senate has passed Sen. Buehrer’s bill banning ‘the creation, transportation, or receipt of a human-animal hybrid, the transfer of a nonhuman embryo into a human womb, and the transfer of a human embryo into a nonhuman womb.’ So much for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”
I wish someone would give Adrien Brody five years in prison and $250,000 in fines for having anything to do with that awful Splice movie.
And then …
Ohio Supreme Court Decides That Police Can Hand Out Tickets If You “Look Like” You’re Speeding
“Officers can rely on their unaided visual estimation of a vehicle’s speed, but the intent is not to allow officers to routinely issue tickets based solely upon unaided visual observations,” [Copley Police Chief Mike] Mier said.
Now that they have determined the safest way to defuse a toilet bomb is to shoot at it, I have full faith in all of the rest of their abilities.
Help Oiled Birds
Please help some innocent living things by supporting the efforts of The International Bird Rescue Center in locating, rescuing, and cleaning wildlife affected by the ongoing oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. Click on the pelican to donate.
