We don’t trust no stinking Pennsylvania groundhogs! Wisconsin’s own Jimmy proclaims Early Spring. I suspect Jimmy knows a thing or two about climate science.
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Category Archives: funny
Happy Halloween!
Pinned to the wall outside my office today and likely to stay up there until the cross-plots I’m generating behave.
Took The “Eerily Accurate” NYT Personality Test
My Visual DNA: Pretty sure my entire personality profile came from my favorite type of movie (assuming that "banana suit kicks goat-cow suit" implies "comedy") and choice of ride (safe).
[LINK] Which helps you understand yourself, thereby “allowing The New York Times marketing department to make personalized product recommendations.” Hey, at least they’re open about their intent.
Turns out I’m a Tech Guru. Flattery is the best form of irritation. Let’s look at what the detailed personality assessment said and then, um, assess ourselves:
“You are the type of person who has the ability to see things from multiple TWO MAYBE THREE perspectives. Nothing is more satisfying than spotting patterns forming in life HUMAN MISTAKES and seeing the beauty in nature. You think everything in life is connected, and keeping in touch with nature ROCKS AND FOSSILS is just as important as keeping up with the latest gadgets. Your sense of humor is one of your best NERDIER qualities. You are naturally friendly and always have something to talk about.
“You have an inquisitive mind and possess an irresistible urge to experiment with TOUCH AND BREAK everything around you. You’re a real get-up-and-go OH WHAT NOW kind of person who likes to keep at least one finger on the pulse of everything that’s hot and happening from the latest movies CAT MACROS and sport FOOTBALL to the coolest technologies and gadgets. A true entertainment junkie, there’s no TOTALLY A chance of you ever getting bored and you’re always the first SECOND AFTER YOUR HUSBAND to get your hands on some shiny new gizmo that’s going to revolutionize TAKE OVER your life. You have a realistic outlook on what you can achieve and enjoy attention to detail in most SOME IDIOSYNCRATIC aspects of your life.”
Much better.
In Which Stephen Colbert Points At My Big, Scary Head
CBS News | Oil refineries seek huge tax refunds
Some of the nation’s largest oil refineries are seeking huge tax refunds that could force school districts and local governments across Texas to give back tens of millions of dollars they were counting on to pay teachers and provide other services. The refineries want the tax breaks in exchange for buying pollution-controlling equipment. But the cost to public schools would be dear, coming only months after lawmakers slashed education spending by more than $4 billion.
… Refinery towns would be hurt the most. “The dollars that are lost by these school districts directly affect the children of the employees that help make these companies what they are,” said David Hodgins, consultant and attorney for the Texas Association of School Administrators.
This is only one of the reasons folks like Melinda Gates and Stephen Colbert have to team up to raise money for teachers across America. Because the government-”free market” complex sure isn’t going to feel obligated to. Who wants educated workers?
For every mugshot photograph uploaded to the Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation website, the foundation will donate $5 up to $100,000 to DonorsChoose.org. You will recall from a recent donation drive on this blog that DonorsChoose is the website that helps teachers and classrooms in hard-hit communities, not schools, buy the most basic things like textbooks, school supplies and teaching kits. It’s small, it’s silly, it’s $5 more than the government is willing to kick in and, most critically, it’s not your money. So what are you waiting for?
Besides, if you don’t put your face up there (and if you thought I look bizarre), you’re also stuck with D.
Reverse Boot Camp
From Bloomberg:
President Barack Obama is proposing expanding tax credits and a “reverse boot camp” to help veterans find jobs and adjust to civilian life as part of an effort to curb veteran unemployment.
I hear “Reverse Boot Camp” and this recent Oatmeal graphic is all I see.
This image belongs to Matthew Inman a.k.a The Oatmeal who is awesome.
I’d make a great drill instructor.
Seismic Interpretation Rage 1
Some of you have asked what my typical work day looks like. Thanks to MemeBase, I can now bring you samples of the daily challenges and small victories of an exploration geophysicist in cartoon form. Introducing Seismic Interpretation Rage. There’s a lot more where this came from.
“Even More Hilarious Than The Day After Tomorrow”
On the road this week. I leave you with the latest from a geo-blog which must go in my feedreader once I get back. It seems that Hollywood is putting out another sciencepocalypse (or is that scienceageddon?) film, this one entitled 2012: Ice Age.
There’s a volcano. It unleashes a glacier. Don’t ask me how. But it’s a fast glacier. A really, really, really, really fast glacier [that's] like a brazillion thousand miles across and can get from the Arctic to the US in a day or two, because it is seriously pissed off and has installed a turbo. And then it destroys New York City, because that’s what you do when you’re the world’s fastest glacier that’s been set free by a volcano.
… One of my guildies suggested that this movie should actually be Speed 3, with Keanu driving the glacier. I am not ashamed to admit that I would pay perfectly good money to see that.
Oh, and one more thing. I’ve completely lost my mind seeing as how I just signed up for the 2011 Susan Komen Houston Race for the Cure. For the next fifteen weeks, I am back on the Couch Spinning To 5K wagon. If I’m not blinded by all the pink around me on race day, I may just make it to the end. (But first, once I hit “Update,” I am going to find a corner and cry like a little girl.)
Happy Raptor!
Revelations
Where do people get off thinking the world will come to an end, they will be pneumatic-tubed to Heaven and all will be answered in their lifetimes? Then again, why not? What’s so special about any other coming time in Earth history that it cannot happen next week?
At any rate, I’m seriously tempted to stage a scene in this ‘hood that involves “vehicles left behind.” There is an East Asian church around the way. Wouldn’t it be funny if a whole bunch of empty cars with doors open suddenly filled its parking lot, the pastor showed up and I ran towards him screaming, “We non-whites were left behind! Nooooo!”
Guess only I think about these things. And find them amusing.
But First, The Hostilidays
Aaah, it’s that swell time of year again. Presenting Marshmallow World, now with white boys in Cosby sweaters. Money shots at 2:02 and 2:17.
Don’t forget to check out other entries scattered across the NOLA blogosphere, especially Suspect Device’s latest. It takes the fruitcake.