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An American’s Thoughts While Flying

* This Tom The Dancing Bug: Muslim On A Plane cartoon reminds me of the one thing I most desire from America: to be left alone. Conversely, and more specifically, I ask not to be judged based on the hue of my skin color and/or my sex. [Maitri’s two rules for passengers: 1) Don’t automatically think I’m a terrorist. 2) Don’t you dare hit on me. Oh, and while you’re at it 3) Shut your kids’ temper tantrums up and teach them how to behave in a public setting before I quietly disappear Dora and give them something to really cry about. They’re not that cute, any asshole can reproduce and this is all the sleep I get today. Make that three rules.] Anyway, it’s why I moved here. So jumpy freaks stop pawing at and questioning my very existence, and leave me the hell alone.

* What if this joint is hijacked? I am a doer; my primary instinct is to roll up my sleeves and jump into the thick of things when the crap hits the fan. So, when I get up to fight, will I be viewed as one of the hijackers by my fellow passengers and pounced upon? Or, do I give them the benefit of the doubt that they will give me the benefit of the doubt and subdue the bad guys along with me?

* I would have agreed with Juan Williams had he said he doesn’t trust anyone who identifies as religious, not just Muslim, first and American second. If you refer to yourself as Christian, Hindu or Jew first, you have no place in civilized society making rules for others. Consider this my way of profiling you.

* Talk to the nervous old lady giving you the side eye. When you open your mouth and start talking arts & crafts or books, it will be one more brown person made normal in her world view. What the hell, I’m a person, not the damned You Down With Brown goodwill brigade. The onus is on BOTH of us to be decent to one another. Talk to her anyway.

* Nah, you’re tired today. Put on the noise-cancelling headphones and take a nap. Let the grumpy old bag stew for the remainder of the flight.

These are thoughts no American should have to entertain. I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face: This is not why I moved here.

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