The NO Wall

No post-slot-machine bliss for this girl. If breaking even is considered lucky, I made out pretty well. Gambling strategy comes to me like flying does to a penguin. Some things you can’t teach, and there are others your pocketbook just doesn’t want to learn. I did figure out that the trick to winning money at slots is not being an utter miser. Put the $20 in the machine, and you will see that you make much more – something about the machine getting hot when it has consumed above the secret magic number in total credits.

Jules asked me if I did anything that had to stay in Vegas. What ever happened to things that stayed in Gary, Indiana?

My pre-coffee response: Didn’t DO shite in Vegas that ought to stay there. How I am here, I was there. Maybe a few cousins and friends strayed over their lines, but I must be getting old. That or my liver and social sensibilities are now accustomed to the beating. Major scarcity of eye candy only exacerbated the situation. What’s up with the Bearable-Guy Famine? Or is it that only neanderthals now go to Vegas to get lucky, after having recently raided a cologne store? Gah. I hung out by the pool and “tanned,” can’t ask for more. Screw guys, let’s find us a poolside.

To which Jules mumbled something about us now being older and more discerning, and how we are in trouble only if our NO Wall starts to crumble. Along with a whisper or two in apology for the poor wording and general incoherence.

Nope, not poorly-worded at all. More than apt language on her part, in fact. Goddammit, when did we get old, Jules? But, it wouldn’t have helped if I were younger either, you know? Something about being a conscientious whippersnapper from the get-go. The NO wall hasn’t started to crumble in the least. And I am glad of that. At the end of the day, I want a reliable guy to go home to – the kind of person who calls you once you land at your destination and says, “Hey, you left your contacts solution here. So, you might want to buy some before you go out tonight or you are going to have to go on the quest for the casino’s sundries store at 4AM and you are not going to like that!” Domestic? Yes. Hot and spicy? Not really, not in this case. Consistent, loving and smells like home? Hell yeah. I don’t need stupidity and consequential soul scratching. The NO wall is staying up.

To which Jules replied, “Even if I were younger and single, I don’t think I would have had the balls to make a move. Part conscience, part pansy constitution. For once being a pansy doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. Also, if you’re ever really doubting things and thinking that romance adventure is where it’s at and want a reminder of just how good you have it, watch Blind Date, The 5th Wheel or Elimidate. It works wonders, really, and can make you laugh to boot. Or cringe. Usually a combination of both.”

This is why Jules, AEC and CEM are always what I wanted in female friends. Able to understand the strong-feminine perspective, effortlessly eloquent in my vernacular, and damned honest. I raise my free casino drink to you, ladies.